IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment?

Many individuals enjoy living in a
house
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 others argue that living in an
apartment
Use synonyms
 has more benefits.
While
Linking Words
 living in an
apartment
Use synonyms
 can be convenient because of the many
services
Use synonyms
 that it offers, I believe that the freedom that
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 independent
house
Use synonyms
 brings about is much more significant. On the one hand, citizens of an
apartment
Use synonyms
 building are provided with a wide range of conveniences. Often, these buildings are constructed by major corporations, which have the funding to equip the buildings with modern facilities and
services
Use synonyms
 to attract inhabitants. The available
services
Use synonyms
 can range from shopping
centers
Use the right word
centres
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, hospitals, gyms, and even
education
Replace the word
educational
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 sites.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the people in these apartments will not have to travel long distances to
suffice
Verb problem
satisfy
show examples
 their basic needs.
For instance
Linking Words
, Royal City, a famous
apartment
Use synonyms
 building in
Viet Nam
Use the right word
Vietnam
show examples
, attract individuals to rent their accommodations because of the shopping
center
Use the right word
centre
show examples
 in the building.
However
Linking Words
,
such
Linking Words
building
Correct article usage
a building
show examples
 often has a high
renting
Replace the word
rental
show examples
 fee, which can be unaffordable for low-income people.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, living in a
separated
Replace the word
separate
show examples
house
Use synonyms
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
show examples
 not have many constraints
being
Verb problem
apply
show examples
put on its owner. Unlike a crowded building where everyone has to obey regulations to avoid affecting others, detached houses have little impact on
its surrounding
Fix the agreement mistake
their surroundings
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.
As a result
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,
house
Use synonyms
 owners can freely host parties and celebrate important occasions more comfortably.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, inhabitants of houses can modify their accommodations without obligation and have their resting place suited to their preferences. To illustrate, a
house
Use synonyms
 owner can repaint the walls with their
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
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color
Change the spelling
colour
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, add windows to illuminate certain rooms or apply creative designs to make their
house
Use synonyms
 more lively. With all of these reasons, I believe
Use synonyms
house
Correct article usage
a house
show examples
 can be
personalized
Use the right word
personalised
show examples
 and truly make it a ‘home
”
Punctuation problem
'
show examples
 rather than just a living place. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 the conveniences and
services
Use synonyms
 that living in an
apartment
Use synonyms
 offers can be appealing, I believe inhabiting a
house
Use synonyms
 is far superior
due to
Linking Words
 the sense of freedom that its owner can get from it.

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task achievement
Try to give more clear examples that support your points. This will help make your argument stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph focuses on one main idea clearly so readers can follow your thoughts easily.
task achievement
Your essay has a clear overall opinion that living in a house is better than living in an apartment.
coherence and cohesion
You have included a good introduction and conclusion, which helps in organizing your essay well.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • privacy
  • outdoor activities
  • gardening
  • customization options
  • renovate
  • structural changes
  • investments
  • appreciation/depreciation
  • maintenance costs
  • utility costs
  • security features
  • gated entries
  • surveillance systems
  • shared amenities
  • community centers
  • suburban
  • rural areas
  • commutes
  • urban centers
  • public transport
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