IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In some cities of the world cars are replacing bicycles. However, in some other cities bicycles are replacing cars. What are the reasons of these two developments? in Your opinion which one is better?

It is irrefutable that all
the
Correct article usage
apply
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human beings have their own pre-determined preferences. These choices are based on their past experiences and reflect their thinking. There are many socio-cultural changes and technical advancements that can be held responsible for the growing phenomenon. As far as my opinion is
concerned
Punctuation problem
concerned,
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 I believe using
bicycle
Correct article usage
a bicycle
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 is a good development rest depends on the need of the hour and preference of the particular situation. So we are going to discuss the pros and cons of both advancements.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, cycling is best for all human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
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 and for
mother earth
Fix capitalization
Mother Earth
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, as it
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
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 no pollution and no traffic .
Its
Use the right word
It's
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 eco-friendly
giving
Punctuation problem
, giving
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 the ozone
a
Correct article usage
apply
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layer
a
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apply
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relief. But going deep into the matter, in big
cities
Use synonyms
 where traffic and pollution
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 a massive issue during rush over
people
Punctuation problem
, people
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 barely move around the block in their
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
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 and they
are
Verb problem
have
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 having poorest air
quility
Correct your spelling
quality
. I have seen in
this
Linking Words
 type of
Use synonyms
cities
Fix the agreement mistake
city
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 people
preffered
Correct your spelling
prefer
bicycle
Fix the agreement mistake
bicycles
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istead
Correct your spelling
instead
 of
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
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 for saving for
saving
Wrong verb form
save
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 time. Most vital
it
Punctuation problem
, it
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 keeps the rides fit and fine.
Government
Correct article usage
The government
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 is
also
Linking Words
 emphasising
on
Change preposition
apply
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this
Linking Words
 matter by increasing
the tax
Check wording
taxes
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 and parking
money
Check wording
fees
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 in big
cities
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, developing
cities
Use synonyms
 prefer cars other than bicycles.
Its
Use the right word
It's
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 not possible commuting around on a
bicyle
Correct your spelling
bicycle
 where they have to travel a lot of miles with less frequent public
transport
Punctuation problem
transport,
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 where a bicycle traveller can
hoppin
Correct your spelling
hop
.
Whereas
Linking Words
 big
cities
Use synonyms
got
Verb problem
have
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 every
facilities
Fix the agreement mistake
facility
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even
Punctuation problem
, even
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 work around the block in most cases. Cars
having
Wrong verb form
have
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advantage
Correct article usage
an advantage
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 for a person who has to go
to
Change preposition
apply
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a distance and
saves
Correct subject-verb agreement
save
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times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
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 and
efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
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.
Even they
Rephrase
They
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 do not need to
be
Verb problem
apply
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worry about the aggressive and constantly changing weather. Pondering over the issue, I would like to state that the need of the hour is to resolve the problem as soon as possible
so
Punctuation problem
, so
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 the government and common masses should take appropriate steps to encourage the residents to go green and resolve health problems and
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
 issues.

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task achievement
Make sure to state your opinion clearly in the introduction and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words to better connect your ideas and paragraphs, like 'firstly', 'also', and 'finally'.
coherence and cohesion
Check for spelling and grammar mistakes to improve clarity. For example, 'preffered' should be 'preferred'.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points, like mentioning specific cities or studies.
task achievement
You highlighted the environmental benefits of cycling well.
task achievement
Your discussion of the challenges of both modes of transportation is thoughtful.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • urbanization
  • affluence
  • commuting distances
  • infrastructure
  • rapid growth
  • status symbol
  • environmental concerns
  • bike-sharing programs
  • traffic congestion
  • carbon emissions
  • sustainable
  • liveable environments
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