IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some countries have become much richer than others. Richer countries should now help poorer countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some
people
Use synonyms
thinks
Correct subject-verb agreement
think
show examples
 that a country with
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
 GDP should support
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other
lower productive
Use the right word
lower-productive
show examples
 nations. In my opinion, I agree with the idea of the assistance of the poor
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
. First of all, based on the history of all the nations in the world, it was always true that the more cooperation
happen
Correct subject-verb agreement
happens
show examples
the
Punctuation problem
, the
show examples
 less war
occur
Correct subject-verb agreement
occurs
show examples
. Many
countries
Use synonyms
 understand the importance of helping other
countries
Use synonyms
 so that they build up all the
organizations
Use the right word
organisations
show examples
 and rules to prevent relationship deterioration on the
earth
Fix capitalization
Earth
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, the USA often supply weapons to other
countries
Use synonyms
 to secure
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 peaceful world. Even though not all the
supportive
Replace the word
supporters
show examples
 are one hundred positive but it can remain
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 quiet place.
Moreover
Linking Words
, rich
countries
Use synonyms
 can support not only the weapons but
also
Linking Words
 many useful
resource
Fix the agreement mistake
resources
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 to maintenance the reputation for their own
.
Check wording
reputation.
show examples
 In 2022,
while
Linking Words
 the whole world experienced the pandemic of COVID
, many
Check wording
pandemic, many
show examples
countries
Use synonyms
share
Wrong verb form
shared
show examples
 the vaccinations and masks
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 where needed
help
Check wording
apply
show examples
. By doing
this
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 showed their kindness and
friendly
Replace the word
friendliness
show examples
 to other
countries
Use synonyms
 to increase the opportunity to stay healthy. So the wealthy
Use synonyms
countries’
Check wording
countries
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 can be happier if they help
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
cities with less well
.
Rephrase
off.
show examples
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it might cause more crimes if the less productive continue to deteriorate. Especially
concern to
Replace the word
concerning
show examples
 the extremely convenient transportation
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
nowadays, the multinational violations can
commit
Wrong verb form
be committed
show examples
vastly
Rephrase
widely
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, poor
people
Use synonyms
 could have a higher chance
to become
Change preposition
of becoming
show examples
 a criminal
while
Linking Words
 the poverty
remain
Correct subject-verb agreement
remains
show examples
still
Rephrase
apply
show examples
in their hometown. In conclusion, I strongly agree that rich
countries
Use synonyms
 should support poor
countries
Use synonyms
 to benefit
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
both sides.

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task achievement
Develop your ideas more with clear examples and explanations.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer transitions between your ideas to improve flow.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a main idea that connects to your thesis.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion on the topic and state your agreement.
coherence and cohesion
Your paragraphs cover different aspects of the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial assistance
  • technological assistance
  • economic gap
  • basic needs
  • healthcare
  • education
  • infrastructure
  • global stability
  • diplomatic relations
  • global cooperation
  • dependency
  • self-sufficiency
  • strings attached
  • political decisions
  • economic decisions
  • sovereignty
  • tension
  • mismanagement
  • corruption
  • intended purpose
What to do next:
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