IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays we are producing more and more rubbish(garbage). Why do you think this is happening? what can government do to help reduce the amount of rubbish produced?

It is irrefutable that these days we are creating the most
garbage
Use synonyms
. There are many socio-cultural changes and technical advancements that can be held responsible for the growing phenomenon. In the following paragraphs, I intend to discuss the reason for
pilling
Use the right word
piling
show examples
 up rubbish and the steps officials can
do
Verb problem
take
show examples
 to reduce its number.
To begin
Linking Words
 with
causes
Check wording
apply
show examples
, it can be noticed that in
this
Linking Words
 materialistic world, people tend to buy things they don't actually need. They still purchase it to flaunt on social
media
Punctuation problem
media,
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 impacts more people
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 they buy unwanted stuff too
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
this
Linking Words
 cycle goes on.
For instance
Linking Words
, my friends
been
Verb problem
have been
show examples
 collecting large
chunk
Fix the agreement mistake
chunks
show examples
 of shoes , glasses, clothes, cars and many more electronic
gadget
Fix the agreement mistake
gadgets
show examples
. Most
garbage
Use synonyms
 contribution, I
believe
Punctuation problem
believe,
show examples
 comes from
packed
Replace the word
packaged
show examples
 food. Packed food and beverages we can see everywhere easy
accessible
Wrong verb form
to access
show examples
, we just eat
drink
Punctuation problem
, drink
show examples
 and throw the plastic. Plastic
play
Correct subject-verb agreement
plays
show examples
 the key role here
Punctuation problem
, its
show examples
its
Use the right word
it's
show examples
 being used in everything
yet
Punctuation problem
, yet
show examples
its
Use the right word
it's
show examples
 the hardest to dispose
and
Change preposition
of and
show examples
 get rid of, so does the rubber tire. To nip the evil in the bud,
common
Correct article usage
the common
show examples
 masses and legislators must work hand in hand. There are some measures we have to follow to deal with
this
Linking Words
 problem. First of all, sorting
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
It
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is
first and the
Correct word order
the first and
show examples
 most essential step to follow by every household and administration. Sorting will make it easy to deal with
recycle
Replace the word
recycling
show examples
, organic and
garbage
Use synonyms
. Organic waste can be used as
fertilizer
Use the right word
fertiliser
show examples
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 recycling will give new life to the waste.
Government
Use the right word
government's
show examples
 role is to encourage and implement strict laws and penalties
Change preposition
for whose
show examples
whose
Use the right word
those
show examples
 not
following
Wrong verb form
follow
show examples
.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 is responsible
to deal
Change preposition
for dealing
show examples
 with rubbish
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 without the help of
citizens
Add a comma
citizens,
show examples
its
Use the right word
it's
show examples
 going to be a hard nut to crack. I believe we should buy the things we need
Linking Words
thus
Punctuation problem
, thus
show examples
 less
garbage
Use synonyms
 is produced
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 prefer recycling
packing
Replace the word
packaging
show examples
.

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task response
Include a clearer thesis statement in your introduction to outline the main points of your essay. This will help set a clear direction for your writing.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure your paragraphs start with topic sentences that tell the reader what each paragraph will talk about. This will improve the overall flow of ideas.
task response
Provide more specific examples to support your ideas. For instance, instead of saying 'packed food contributes to garbage,' you could mention specific brands or types of products that add to rubbish.
coherence and cohesion
Check your grammar and word choice for clarity. Some sentences are a bit hard to understand. For example, 'my friends been collecting large chunk of shoes' should read 'my friend has been collecting a large number of shoes.'
task response
You identified relevant causes of rubbish production, such as consumerism and the impact of packaging.
task response
You suggested practical solutions involving both government action and community involvement, which gives your essay a positive angle.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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