IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

More people are shopping online today than ever before. Why do people choose to shop this way? Are there any disadvantages to shopping online? Provide your opinion and use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

There is no denying the fact that online shopping is more common these days than before. I agree that shopping online is a comfortable option because
it's
Verb problem
it
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
 speed and a lot of choices.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, online shopping is the first option today
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 it matches the
word
Use the right word
world's
show examples
 speed. A lot of people are busy and have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
full-time jobs ,going to the mall and
waste
Replace the word
wasting
show examples
 time is not a wise thing to do.
For instance
Linking Words
, they can do online orders from anywhere
while
Linking Words
 they are on their way to work or
their
Change preposition
during their
show examples
 lunch break with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
less time and effort. Another point to consider is
people
Correct word choice
that people
show examples
 have different
preference
Fix the agreement mistake
preferences
show examples
 on things, malls have limited things
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it is possible to not find what you want.
Moreover
Linking Words
, online shops have
variety
Correct article usage
a variety
show examples
 of options from all over the world, plus, it allows
to
Correct pronoun usage
you to
show examples
 compare the prices and
making
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
 the best deal.
For example
Linking Words
, many individuals have seen the same item in different
store
Fix the agreement mistake
stores
show examples
 with
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
different
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
 and
quality
Fix the agreement mistake
qualities
show examples
. In conclusion, despite people having different views, I believe that online shopping is a
game changer
Use the right word
game-changer
show examples
. Fast deliveries and diverse options
while
Linking Words
 sitting at home
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 a dream.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Make sure to start with a clear introduction that states your main idea clearly. You can also briefly mention the two main reasons you will discuss.
coherence cohesion
Use clear paragraphs for each point. Make sure each paragraph has a distinct main idea and supports that idea clearly without mixing points.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and details to support your points. This will make your ideas stronger and clearer.
content
You identified good points about the convenience and variety of online shopping.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: