IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that students should be free to choose what they study in the university. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some individuals think that
students
Use synonyms
 should choose their major at university on their own,
although
Linking Words
 some other
people
Use synonyms
 think that
they
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 might be better to consult with elderly
people
Use synonyms
.
In
Change preposition
From
show examples
 my perspective, it is an important decision for a future job (career) and might be better made by an expert based on ability and interest;
Linking Words
moreover
Add a comma
moreover,
show examples
 the
students
Use synonyms
' attitude is more important than others.
Linking Words
Therefore
Punctuation problem
Therefore,
show examples
 I partially agree with
this
Linking Words
 opinion.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, there are some reasons why they need to consult with others related to their emotions and feelings, as far as the adolescents
choose
Verb problem
make
show examples
 the main decision based on excitement and spontaneously
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 they do not pay attention to their difficulties. The second reason is
due to
Linking Words
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of experience because young
people
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
during
show examples
high
Correct article usage
the high
show examples
 school period do not have any knowledge about environmental work and courses. They must be passed in university. They can not
recognize
Use the right word
recognise
show examples
 very well
their
Correct word choice
that their
show examples
 ability and skills are enough for that subject, which opt for
themselves
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 or not?
For example
Linking Words
, a
person
Use synonyms
 who wants to study mathematics has to be good with numbers and
formoles
Correct your spelling
formulas
Linking Words
while
Punctuation problem
, while
show examples
 another
person
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 wants to be a singer needs to have a clear voice to be a successful
person
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 think that when they consult about their field of study with family members or friends or tutor they give you some advice based on bias and do not pay attention to your ability,
also
Linking Words
 maybe they encourage you for some field that can earn more money like engineering which is a well-paying job. In conclusion, there are two different attitudes
between
Change preposition
among
show examples
people
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
toward
show examples
students
Use synonyms
. Some
people
Use synonyms
 think that
students
Use synonyms
 must freely choose their field of
studying
Replace the word
study
show examples
. I think that they might be better consulted with an expert
person
Use synonyms
 because they do not have any knowledge
and
Correct word choice
or
show examples
 experience.
However
Linking Words
, when other
people
Use synonyms
 give some advice, do pay attention to your
interest
Fix the agreement mistake
interests
show examples
.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly express your main idea in the introduction. Use direct statements to show your opinion clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words like 'firstly', 'furthermore', and 'in conclusion' to improve the flow between your ideas.
task achievement
Support your points with specific examples and explain them in detail to make your argument stronger.
task achievement
You raised good points about the need for consultation due to lack of experience.
task achievement
You mentioned the importance of personal interest and ability when choosing a field of study.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • academic freedom
  • curriculum personalization
  • career prospects
  • market saturation
  • interdisciplinary approach
  • critical thinking
  • academic counseling
  • informed decision-making
  • holistic education
  • oversaturation
  • underrepresentation
What to do next:
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