IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

There is no denying the fact that companies should think about how they can increase the number of their customers.
While
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 it is
commonly
Correct article usage
a commonly
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 held belief that advertising is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 successful way to raise sales, there is
also
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 an argument that advertising is a very old method and it does not have significant effects. 
This
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 essay will
analyze
Use the right word
analyse
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this
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 topic from both points of view and express my opinion. On one hand, in our
globalization
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globalisation
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 world, social media has a crucial impact on individuals' brains
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
In other words
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, using different platforms for marketing will assist in increasing the number of people who will know about the
product
Use synonyms
.
In addition
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, a lot of people now make their decisions to pay
anything
Change preposition
for anything
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on
Verb problem
based on
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 their
favorite
Use the right word
favourite
show examples
influencer
Check wording
influencer's
show examples
 reviews about it.
For example
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,
last
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 week there was a significant rise in new perfume because of the advertising campaign
organized
Use the right word
organised
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 by a perfume manufacturer
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 included many influencers.
On the other hand
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, some people believe that there is a more creative way to attract customers' attention to the
product
Use synonyms
. It is
also
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 possible to say that the quality of the
commadity
Correct your spelling
commodity
 or its package is more important than spending money on advertising.
Therefore
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, the client will repay the
product
Use synonyms
 depending on their experience with it. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to
this
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 question, On balance,
however
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, I tend to believe that advertising has a vital role in marketing nowadays, even of there high cost, it will be not only the reason for the rise in
product
Use synonyms
 sales in any company, but it will
also
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 increase the financial returns.

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task achievement
Try to make your introduction more engaging by clearly stating your opinion earlier.
coherence
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that connects to your main idea.
task achievement
Add more specific examples or details to support your points.
task achievement
Good use of examples from social media and influencers.
coherence
The essay is well-organized with separate points of view.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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