The governments investment in art such as music and theatre is a waste of money, government must invest money on public service instead. Do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction

I don'

Use synonyms

agree with the idea. Artistic activity

Punctuation problem

, like

show examples

music or

exhibitions

Punctuation problem

exhibitions,

show examples

is a crucial factor in modern

life

Use synonyms

. First of all, I believe that the public service is prioritised, because it is directly connected

the

Change preposition

to the

show examples

quality of

life

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

, I don'

Use synonyms

think that the governments find investment in the arts a waste of money.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss both perspectives and present my opinion.

Body paragraph 1

On the one hand, social facilities play an extremely important role in modern society.

For example

Linking Words

, just thinking of

life

Use synonyms

without public transportation is terrible.

Moreover

Linking Words

, Healthcare is one of the most significant public services. When I get a cold, all

things

Check wording

apply

show examples

I can do is take some rest. It's really embarrassing. Like

this

Linking Words

, public services are vital in our

Use synonyms

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

Body paragraph 2

On the other hand

Linking Words

, I don'

Use synonyms

think investing in

art

Use synonyms

is a waste of money. Many people enjoy

art

Use synonyms

relief

Replace the word

relieve

show examples

their stress in their own ways.

For example

Linking Words

, some listen to music and take some rest over the weekend, which makes individuals feel recharged. In my case, one of my hobbies is going for a walk with piano music. I can'

Use synonyms

keep my daily

routinewithout

Correct your spelling

routine without

it.

To sum up

Linking Words

, activities related to

art

Use synonyms

have an important impact on our mental health.

Conclusion

In conclusion, I believe that the bottom line is a balanced approach between

art

Use synonyms

and public service. Public service

doesn'

Verb problem

not

show examples

Use synonyms

only

play

Correct subject-verb agreement

plays

show examples

a significant role in our convenience, but

also

Linking Words

art

Use synonyms

has a vital role for us in

differet

Correct your spelling

different

ways. What we have to do isn'

Use synonyms

an assessment. What we need to do is acknowledge that both are important.

eee159789

Jul 9, 2025

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coherence and cohesion

Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences in the paragraph support that idea. This helps with logical structure.

coherence and cohesion

Try to use clear topic sentences in each paragraph to show the main point you will discuss. This will help the reader follow your ideas better.

task achievement

Add more specific examples or details to support your points. This will make your ideas clearer and more convincing.

task achievement

Make sure to check your writing for small mistakes, such as missing words or typos. This will improve the overall quality of your essay.

task achievement

You show a good understanding of both sides of the argument, which helps to cover the task well.

task achievement

Your personal example of enjoying piano music adds a nice touch to your essay and makes it relatable.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

267 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

government
investment
art
music
theatre
waste
money
public service
agree
disagree
economy
jobs
tourists
revenue
culture
society
mental health
happiness
important
support
educate
social issues
valuable
long-term
change

What to do next:

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The governments investment in art such as music and theatre is a waste of money, government must invest money on public service instead. Do you agree or disagree?

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Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

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