IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

IELTS Many young people choose to take a year out between finishing school and starting university in order to gain work experience or to travel. The experience of non-academic life benefits the individual when they return to education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is no denying the fact that
gap
Correct article usage
a gap
show examples
year
Use synonyms
 is essential for
som
Use the right word
some
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 students.
While
Linking Words
 it is
commonly
Correct article usage
a commonly
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 held belief that taking a rest
year
Use synonyms
 to discover
your self
Use the right word
yourself
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 without any pressure is important, there is
also
Linking Words
 an argument that opposite it. In my opinion, I consider that taking a
year
Use synonyms
 out before starting
university
Use synonyms
 has a lot of benefits.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, seniors are more likely to be stressed and under a lot of pressure to get
to
Change preposition
into
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 the
university
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 they want.
In other words
Linking Words
, taking a gap
year
Use synonyms
 can be helpful to think clearly about their future plans, and
great
Correct article usage
a great
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 chance to
acknowldege
Correct your spelling
acknowledge
about
Change preposition
apply
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majors, and future careers.
In
Linking Words
addition
Add a comma
addition,
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 volunteering or working in several fields can be a great opportunity to develop skills and personal growth .
For instance
Linking Words
, people travel to learn another language, experience different cultures, communicate better, and learn how to depend more on themselves. Another point to consider is,
reaserch
Correct your spelling
research
 related that a lot of students fail their first
year
Use synonyms
 of college and drop out because of depression and stress. It is
also
Linking Words
 possible to say that because they consume all of their energy and time in high school, in order to get into their dream college,
and
Correct word choice
apply
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now they are
Correct word order
they are now
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 unmotivated and burned out.
Moreover
Linking Words
, many students experience their
university
Use synonyms
 life without their high school friends.
Wich
Use the right word
Which
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 makes them feel lonely and
lower
Correct subject-verb agreement
lowers
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 their enthusiasm about
university
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, despite people having different views, I believe that
gap
Correct article usage
a gap
show examples
year
Use synonyms
 is
great
Correct article usage
a great
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 opportunity to recharge your battery and discover new things
in
Change preposition
about
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both
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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yourself and
Use synonyms
university
Correct pronoun usage
your university
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 choices.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure to use clear topic sentences to structure your paragraphs better.
Task Response
Double-check your spelling and grammar for better clarity. For example, 'acknowledge' instead of 'acknowldege'.
Task Response
Include more specific examples to support your points. This can help clarify your ideas.
Task Response
You have a clear opinion about the benefits of taking a gap year.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes your main points well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broader understanding
  • Emotionally mature
  • Rigorous demands
  • Practical work experience
  • Career direction
  • Diverse environments
  • Social skills
  • Problem-solving
  • Communication skills
  • Academic growth
  • Appreciation for education
  • Academic momentum
  • Readjust
  • Structured educational path
  • Enrich
  • Dedication
What to do next:
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