IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people today are worried about cybercrime, chess hacking and identity theft. What problems does cybercrime cause, and what solutions can you suggest for ordinary people and businesses to take?

Cybercrimes
such
Linking Words
 as hacking
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
threat
Replace the word
threaten
show examples
 the safety of many
people
Use synonyms
 around the world
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 can cause many problems
like
Punctuation problem
, like
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
easy access to personal
data
Use synonyms
. There are a number of solutions that individuals and
orgnaizations
Correct your spelling
organisations
 can take
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as using more complex
software
Use synonyms
 systems. There are many crimes that are linked to the lack of
cyper security
Correct your spelling
cybersecurity
, one of them is that the personal information of
internet's
Check wording
internet
show examples
useres
Correct your spelling
users
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 not safe. The easy access to the
data
Use synonyms
 can encourage
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
identity theft, where criminals can use someone's
idenitiy
Correct your spelling
identity
 to commit online crimes. They can use the fake
idenities
Correct your spelling
identities
 to gather sensitive information from work websites
or
Punctuation problem
, or
show examples
 they can log in to bank accounts and steal money.
For example
Linking Words
, in 2022, over ten thousand
people
Use synonyms
 were victims of personal
data
Use synonyms
 theft in Saudi Arabia.
On the other hand
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, there are some solutions that both ordinary
people
Use synonyms
 and businesses can follow. Individuals should not share their personal
data
Use synonyms
 or passwords with
any one
Use the right word
anyone
show examples
Linking Words
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
as
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 well
as using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
 better ways to protect their information on the applications they use
like
Punctuation problem
, like
show examples
 using face identification. When it comes to
orgnaizations
Correct your spelling
organisations
, they can upgrade their
software
Use synonyms
programes
Correct your spelling
programs
 to more complex and secure ones even if they cost more.
For instance
Linking Words
, Alrajihi
bank
Fix capitalization
Bank
show examples
 in Saudi Arabia changed
their
Fix the agreement mistake
its
show examples
websites'
Check wording
website's
show examples
software
Use synonyms
 after a chain of cyber attacks in 2020. In conclusion,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
internet crimes
are
Wrong verb form
have become
show examples
 more common recently
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
cause
Check wording
apply
show examples
can worry
its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
show examples
 users. It can cause many problems like
staeling
Correct your spelling
stealing
people
Use synonyms
's identity to commit other cybercrimes.
However
Linking Words
, there are some viable solutions
such
Linking Words
 as spreading
awarness
Correct your spelling
awareness
 among internet users and upgrading to more secure
software
Use synonyms
 systems.

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task achievement
Try to clearly outline the main points and solutions in your introduction. This helps guide the reader.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words to connect your ideas better. This will improve the flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Proofread to correct spelling mistakes, such as 'orgnaizations' and 'cyper'.
task achievement
You gave specific examples, which help explain your points more clearly.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the question and presents both problems and solutions.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cybercrime
  • identity theft
  • hacking
  • business
  • trust
  • internet
  • financial loss
  • protection
  • victim
  • emotional stress
  • data
  • reputation
  • legal issues
  • solutions
  • ordinary people
  • customers
  • banking
  • online services
  • shopping
  • safety
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