IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that older employees contribute most to the success of a company. Others think that younger people play a more vital role. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many individuals believe that elderly employees provide more , which leads to the
success
Use synonyms
 of a
company
Use synonyms
, whilst others argue that the young generation plays an important role.
Although
Linking Words
 some think that older
workers
Use synonyms
 contribute to the
company
Use synonyms
's
success
Use synonyms
 because of the experience they have. I think that younger employees contribute to the
success
Use synonyms
 of the industry because of
physical
Correct pronoun usage
their physical
show examples
 fitness. On the one hand, the majority believe that people between the ages of 40-60 years come up with favourable results needed by a
company
Use synonyms
 because of their experience.
This
Linking Words
 is to say, many of them have knowledge on how businesses are run , unlike the new generation of
workers
Use synonyms
, since older employees are more experienced. The reason is that some were employed at a young age, so by spending almost half of their
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
 in the same field, they end up knowing all the concepts of an industry.
For example
Linking Words
, ZUPCO has many loyal
workers
Use synonyms
 who contributed to the
success
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 of the association , and they made a lot of profit , which kept the industry running for more than 40 years.
This
Linking Words
 essay,
however
Linking Words
, believes that
this
Linking Words
 only works for old companies which don't use modern technology.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, younger individuals are the best in terms of giving better results because they are physically fit. By
this
Linking Words
 l mean, those aged between 18-35 years are strong and their bodies allow them to work in harsh conditions without being redundant.
For instance
Linking Words
, in South Africa, a lot of construction companies, the army and security prefer to employ young people because of their ability to carry heavy stuff and react fast when an urgent response is needed.
This
Linking Words
 essay
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 argues that , because of the more production made nowadays, young
workers
Use synonyms
 are the best in terms of boosting the growth of a
company
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, for companies to become successful,
although
Linking Words
 they get better outcomes and knowledge from older staff,
this
Linking Words
 essay believes that young staff are more valuable as they are strong and fit to work in harsh workplaces.

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task achievement
Try to provide a clearer explanation of your ideas and opinions throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Make sure you connect your ideas more smoothly using linking words and phrases (like 'firstly', 'on the other hand', 'in addition').
task achievement
Use a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas more clearly and effectively.
positive
You presented two clear viewpoints and provided examples for both.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • vital role
  • deep understanding
  • valuable assets
  • mentoring
  • wisdom
  • tech-savvy
  • innovative ideas
  • eager to learn
  • fast-paced environments
  • dynamic
  • forward-thinking
  • diverse age range
  • leverage
  • unique strengths
  • harmonious
  • effective team
  • continuous learning
  • innovation
  • stability
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