Some people believe that goverment is wasting money on the art and that this money could be better spent somewhere else. To what extent do you agree with this view.

There is no denying the fact that the government is spending money on the arts , or that
this
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money could be spent better somewhere else.
While
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it is a commonly held belief that Spending on art is better than anything else, there is
also
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an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that I disagree with
this
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opinion. The foremost argument to justify my stand is that the government should spend on things that benefit society

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your main idea in the introduction. This will help guide the reader.
task achievement
Use clear examples to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use more linking words (like 'firstly', 'also', 'however') to connect your ideas better.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and supports it well to improve the flow.
content
Your introduction starts with a clear statement about the topic, which is good.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
What to do next:
Look at other essays: