IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that government should pay for health care and education,but others believe that it is not their responsibility. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

there
Fix capitalization
There
show examples
 is a
longlasting
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long-lasting
show examples
 debate about
wether
Use the right word
whether
show examples
 the
goveromant
Correct your spelling
government
 should be responsible for funding healthcare and
education
Use synonyms
 for its citizens.
some
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Some
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 argue that
thes serivces
Correct your spelling
these services
 are fundamental
reights amd
Correct your spelling
rights and
 must be financed by the state,
while
Linking Words
 others contend that individuals should shoulder these costs themselves.
on
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On
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 one hand, proponents of
state fumded heathcare
Correct your spelling
state-funded healthcare
 and
education
Use synonyms
 believe that
thes
Correct your spelling
these
 are essential pillars of
just
Correct article usage
a just
show examples
 society.
Proving
Verb problem
Providing
show examples
unversal
Correct your spelling
universal
 access to medical services and quality
education
Use synonyms
pillars
Verb problem
are pillars
show examples
 of
just
Correct article usage
a just
show examples
socitey
Correct your spelling
society
inequality
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apply
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, improve public health, and promote upward mobility.
when
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When
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 citizens are healthy and well educated, they become more
prouductive
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productive
 members of the workforce, ultimately contributing to
econmic
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economic
 growth.
Moreover
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,
governmet
Correct your spelling
government
 funding
ensure
Correct subject-verb agreement
ensures
show examples
 that
low income
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low-income
show examples
familis
Correct your spelling
families
 are not deprived of opportunities
due to
Linking Words
 financial constraints.
Conversely
Linking Words
, opponents claim
thet
Correct your spelling
that
 making healthcare and
education
Use synonyms
 entirely
government funded
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government-funded
show examples
 can place a significant burden on taxpayers. They argue that excessive state spending may lead to inefficiencies, lack of innovation, and potential overuse of
servise
Correct your spelling
services
. From
this
Linking Words
prespective
Correct your spelling
perspective
, individuals should take more
responsibilty
Correct your spelling
responsibility
 for
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
 personal welfare and invest in
ther
Correct your spelling
their
 own future, rather
Linking Words
then
Use the right word
than
show examples
 relying on the
governmant
Correct your spelling
government
.
Linking Words
this
Fix capitalization
This
show examples
 could
also
Linking Words
 encourage competition and improve the quality of private
institution
Fix the agreement mistake
institutions
show examples
.
in
Fix capitalization
In
show examples
 my opinion,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
frimly
Correct your spelling
firmly
belive
Use the right word
believe
show examples
 that
heathcare
Correct your spelling
healthcare
 and
education
Use synonyms
 should be fully funded by the
governmet
Correct your spelling
government
. These are not luxuries but fundamental human rights that every
citiszn
Correct your spelling
citizen
 deserves regardlees og thir socioeconomic status. By ensuring equal access to these services, governments can foster a more equitable, healthy, and educated society,
witch
Use the right word
which
show examples
 ultimately benefits the nation as
whole
Correct article usage
a whole
show examples
.

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grammar
Make sure to check the spelling and grammar. Words like 'government', 'healthcare', and 'responsibility' should be spelled correctly.
content
Try to give more specific examples to support your ideas about health care and education. This will help strengthen your arguments.
coherence
Use clearer linking words to connect your ideas, such as 'firstly', 'secondly', and 'for example'. This will help improve the flow of your essay.
content
You presented both sides of the argument well, showing that you understand different opinions.
content
Your conclusion clearly states your opinion, which helps to summarize your perspective on the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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