IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that it is the responsibility of people to take care of the environment. Others say it is the government that should take care of the environment. Discuss both views

A few
people
Use synonyms
 argue that
people
Use synonyms
 have to take
care
Use synonyms
 of the
environment
Use synonyms
 because it is their
Use synonyms
authority
Check wording
responsibility
show examples
 to maintain it
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 some
feels
Correct subject-verb agreement
feel
show examples
 that the government is fully responsible
to protect
Change preposition
for protecting
show examples
 the
environment
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 it is
people
Use synonyms
's
authority
Use synonyms
 to protect
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 will create
habit
Correct article usage
a habit
show examples
 of cleaning it and spreading awareness among other
people
Use synonyms
, I strongly believe that the government has
crucial
Correct article usage
a crucial
show examples
 role to take
care
Use synonyms
 of it, where they should introduce technology and run the campaign in society. On the one hand, some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
people
Use synonyms
 must protect
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature
Use synonyms
. It will create
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
 habit of cleaning among
people
Use synonyms
, which can lead to
educate
Wrong verb form
educating
show examples
 everyone to follow it.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it will spread awareness of
Use synonyms
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
that
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 how
much
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
vital the
environment
Use synonyms
in
Verb problem
is in
show examples
 the lives of
people
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and animals. If we do not take
care
Use synonyms
 of it,
as a result
Linking Words
, it has the power to destroy
habitat
Correct article usage
the habitat
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 of
Correct article usage
the earth
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earth
Fix capitalization
Earth
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, in Japan, there was a huge tsunami which affected almost 75% of
people
Use synonyms
's
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
 in 2004.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 argue that the
authority
Use synonyms
 has the main role to protect
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature
Use synonyms
. The
authority
Use synonyms
 has to
introduced
Wrong verb form
introduce
show examples
 new technology for cleaning the rivers
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and lakes.
As a result
Linking Words
, garbage and
palstics
Correct your spelling
plastics
 will not block its water.
In addition
Linking Words
, the
authority
Use synonyms
 should run
campaign
Correct article usage
a campaign
show examples
 in society, especially in modern cities or towns where
people
Use synonyms
 do not
care
Use synonyms
 about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 campaign will at least spread the importance of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, in Kenya, their
authority
Use synonyms
 had run numerous programmes in their towns
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and cities
for spreading
Change preposition
to spread
show examples
 awareness regarding
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, to protect the
environment
Use synonyms
, the government and the
people
Use synonyms
 should
have
Verb problem
make
show examples
 equal
contribution
Fix the agreement mistake
contributions
show examples
 towards it.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clearly explain the main points in each paragraph and link them well to support your ideas.
task achievement
Use simpler and clearer sentences to express your thoughts. Avoid complicated phrases that may confuse readers.
task achievement
Include more specific examples that directly connect back to your points. This will make your argument stronger.
task achievement
You have presented both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced approach to the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main point of the discussion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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