IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people say that computer skills should be added to primary subjects such as reading, writing, and math in elementary schools. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

I simply agree with
this
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 statement
as
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, as
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 nowadays
computer
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skills
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 are a main thing for our lifestyle
which
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, which
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 includes jobs that require
computer
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 knowledge and support for future applications, and here is why. For the first reason,
Computer
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skills
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 are a great hobby and knowledge that requires a long-term of of studying session that reach out in a term of years ,
such
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 as 5 to 8 years of knowledge and
skills
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, which could change a student's future for the better , to say the least
,
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.
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 As for the second reason,
computer
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skills
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 are a great way to understand technology in basic and advanced ways. So in summary,
i
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I
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 agree that elementary schools should be added to primary subjects as it would be a new knowledgeable assistant for
this
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 future and hobbies that could potentially unlock a new level of habit that could help them out with job applications and work enjoyment after graduation.

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task achievement
Make clear statements about your point of view. Use clear ideas and examples to support your reasons.
coherence and cohesion
Use connecting words between your sentences. This will help to make your writing flow better.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to make your points stronger.
task achievement
You express a clear opinion about the topic.
task achievement
Your writing shows your understanding of the importance of computer skills.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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