IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Prevention is better than cure. Research and treating diseases is too costly so it would be better to invest in preventative measures. To what extent do you agree?

The spread of diseases and
illness
Fix the agreement mistake
illnesses
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 comes from a
lot
Use synonyms
 of factors. Health will be at risk if it
will be
Wrong verb form
is
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 left untreated or neglected. The reason why research and training are expensive is
because
Change preposition
that
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
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scientist
Fix the agreement mistake
scientists
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 and researchers spend a
lot
Use synonyms
 of time and energy
to study
Wrong verb form
studying
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 complex diseases. There are a
lot
Use synonyms
 of factors that they need to look into. They need to evaluate and experiment
different
Change preposition
with different
show examples
 types of bacteria or viruses that are present to they can
further
Linking Words
 expand their knowledge. But with the help of medicine, they can work side by side to successfully create a formula that can kill and stop the spread of infection. I agree that prevention is better than
cure
Correct article usage
a cure
show examples
 if someone is
knowledgable
Use the right word
knowledgeable
show examples
 in understanding and balancing their life holistically. There are a
lot
Use synonyms
 of ways to prevent sickness that can eventually lead to death. These examples are
applied
Replace the word
applicable
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 to anyone who wants to have a sustainable life. It should start with the basic handwashing,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 promotes good hygiene and
prevent
Correct subject-verb agreement
prevents
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cross contamination
Use the right word
cross-contamination
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. The second example
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 is to eat fruits and
vegtables
Correct your spelling
vegetables
 to help our body boost its immune system and increase resistance. The
last
Linking Words
 example would be
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
proper
excercise
Correct your spelling
exercise
 and
good
Correct article usage
a good
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 lifestyle. People should try to avoid stress, alcohol, fatty foods and
cigarrette
Correct your spelling
cigarette
 smoking. In conclusion, humans are capable and designed to
keep
Verb problem
stay
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 healthy without any help
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
 science or taking drugs. People can live a long life without compromising their health if
we
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 just follow the natural way of living
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
show examples
.
Check wording
life.
show examples

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea. This will improve your logical flow.
task achievement
Add more examples or details to support your main points. This makes your ideas clearer.
general
Check for small grammar and spelling mistakes to make your writing clearer.
task achievement
You provided several practical examples of prevention, which helps support your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes your ideas well, showing the importance of living healthily.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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