IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

many aspect of the way people dress today are influenced by global fashion trends. how has global fashion become such a strong influence on people's lives? do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Dweller's modern lifestyle is associated with relying on hot
fashion
Use synonyms
 trends for
chosing clothds
Correct your spelling
choosing clothes
. I believe
this
Linking Words
 is influenced by
Correct article usage
the sens
show examples
sens
Use the right word
sense
show examples
 of being good enough criteria in contemporary societies
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 despite the fact that it can
make
Verb problem
bring
show examples
 advantages for nations,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
assum
Correct your spelling
assume
 it is a
hurmful
Correct your spelling
harmful
 development. Having an admirable and acceptable
appierence
Correct your spelling
appearance
 is one of
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
crutial factores
Correct your spelling
crucial factors
 in social relationships and is tied with being up-to-date and following
trends
Punctuation problem
trends,
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 means relying on
fashion
Use synonyms
 as the most acceptable criteria in a nutshell. Since influencers and celebrities have been carrying the image of being good and admirable enough
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
fashion
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
 being advertised by them constantly, citizens choose
relying
Wrong verb form
to rely
show examples
 on
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 assured approach to dress
;
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
puting
Correct your spelling
putting
 on what is presented by the most admirable group of society.
Linking Words
for
Fix capitalization
For
show examples
instance
Add a comma
instance,
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 putting on a
long sleev
Correct your spelling
long-sleeved
 shirt was
some thing
Use the right word
something
show examples
 rare and
respeculous
Correct your spelling
respectable
 in
Iranian
Correct article usage
the Iranian
show examples
 nation
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 since celebrities
start
Wrong verb form
started
show examples
puting
Correct your spelling
putting
 on
this
Linking Words
product
Use synonyms
 from a famous brand, dwellers redefined it as an interesting cloth
that is
Linking Words
accosiated
Correct your spelling
associated
 with the sense of being cool and good enough. I admit
fashion
Use synonyms
 trend has
Correct article usage
a segnificant
show examples
segnificant
Correct your spelling
significant
 role in
Correct article usage
the economical
show examples
economical
Correct word choice
economic
show examples
 development of nations by creating a constant circle of
demend
Correct your spelling
demand
 and
product
Use synonyms
 that never stops, but I think it can be
unnegligibely hurmful
Correct your spelling
negligibly harmful
 for our
futur
Correct your spelling
future
 generation since it
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
show examples
 not move on the line of sustainability.
vast
Correct article usage
A vast
show examples
varaiety
Correct your spelling
variety
 of resources
tend
Correct subject-verb agreement
tends
show examples
 to be
waste
Replace the word
wasted
show examples
 to support just one
fashion
Use synonyms
 trend.
This
Linking Words
hurmfulness
Correct your spelling
harmfulness
be
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
doubbled
Correct your spelling
doubled
 when it comes to
short time
Use the right word
short-term
show examples
 usage of any
fashion
Use synonyms
product
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
assum
Correct your spelling
assume
 dwellers follow
fashion
Use synonyms
 trends to make sure their
appierence
Correct your spelling
appearance
 is admirable and good enough, but I think we do not need to rely on
this
Linking Words
mean
Correct subject-verb agreement
means
show examples
 for our inner peace. Since it
sawages
Correct your spelling
sees
 our
planet
Check wording
planet's
show examples
 resources and is not
far-sighting
Use the right word
far-sighted
show examples
.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supports it well.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words to connect your ideas better.
task response
Make your points clearer and stronger to fully answer the question.
task response
Include more specific examples to back up your ideas and make them stronger.
task response
You have identified the influence of fashion on social relationships clearly.
task response
You show awareness of the effects of fashion on the environment which adds depth to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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