IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The use of social media is replacing face-to-face interaction among many people in society. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, social
media
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 has become popular worldwide. It has been deemed that
mass
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media
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 has
been
Verb problem
apply
show examples
replaced on-site gathering.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is essential to examine and discuss the advantages and the disadvantages of
this
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 trend. On the one hand, social
media
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 plays a huge role in many societies, so it has several merits.
Initially
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, it helps
people
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 to communicate virtually, which is easier and faster.
This
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 assists individuals
to gather
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in gathering
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 with their families even if they are far from each other.
Moreover
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, companies use/
utilize
Use the right word
utilise
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mass
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media
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 in marketing their products,
which
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apply
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resulting in
increasing
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increased
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 financial support
of
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for
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 companies. In China, 85% of
company's
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companies'
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 owners attempt to use
mass
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media
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 to market their products. Social
media
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allow
Correct subject-verb agreement
allows
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people
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 to be knowledgeable about recent news as it assists in
spreading
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the spread
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 of news quickly.
On the other hand
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, there are numerous demerits of using social
media
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. It is
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
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 of time, because
people
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 spend a lot of time using social
media
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, which
affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
show examples
on
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apply
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their performance at work.
In addition
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,
mass
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media
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 might spread
a
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apply
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fake news which might
effect
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affect
show examples
on
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apply
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a
personal
Replace the word
person
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 and
country
Correct article usage
the country
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wise
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apply
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.
Also
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,
It
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it
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 decreases family bonds because
people
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 will avoid gathering and prefer to talk through social
media
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 applications.
As a result
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, the social bonds become weaker compared to face-to-face communication. In my opinion, I totally believe that the advantages of social
media
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 outweigh the disadvantages, because it not only
support
Correct subject-verb agreement
supports
show examples
people
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 in communication but
also
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it
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apply
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helps individuals
while
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 studying and travelling. In conclusion,
mass
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media
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 support
people
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 to explore the world in different
aspect
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aspects
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 as it has
varieties
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a variety
show examples
 of benefits. I encourage all
people
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 to use social
media
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 in a wise way.

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task achievement
Make sure your introduction clearly states your opinion. You mentioned the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, but try to give a brief reason why in the introduction.
coherence cohesion
Use connectives like 'however' or 'for example' to link your ideas better. This will improve the flow of your essay.
task achievement
Provide clear examples for each point. For example, explain how social media increases knowledge. This will help support your points more effectively.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion about the topic, which is good for task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a good structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This helps the reader follow your ideas easily.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • face-to-face interaction
  • geographical barriers
  • global community
  • cultural diversity
  • economic opportunities
  • superficial interactions
  • mental health impact
  • loneliness
  • depression
  • interpersonal relationships
  • real world
  • spread of misinformation
  • echo chambers
  • societal polarization
  • informed citizenship
  • constant connectivity
  • maintain relationships
  • fast and efficient
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