Some people believe that successful sports teams are always those with the strongest or fittest players. Others think that success depends more on the team’s mental strength. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think it is always those with the strongest or fittest
team
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members
will
Correct pronoun usage
who will
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became
Wrong verb form
become
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successful
sports
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teams,
while
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others argue that it
is
Verb problem
apply
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depends on the
strength
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of
Use synonyms
team's
Correct article usage
the team's
show examples
mental. In my opinion, it will depend on
kind
Correct article usage
the kind
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of
sports
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,
either
Correct word choice
whether
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physical
and
Correct word choice
or
show examples
Use synonyms
mentality
Replace the word
mental
show examples
are
Check wording
skills are
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needed.
This
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essay will explain
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
both
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
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and the
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
show examples
. On one hand,
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sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
that need to play with physical had encourage
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
players
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to improve their
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strength
Correct word choice
physical strength
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Check wording
apply
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body
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.
Furthermore
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,
team
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sports
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mostly with
body
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contact among the
players
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.
For instance
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, football, cricket, and
others
Fix the agreement mistake
other
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physical
team
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sports
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are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
encourage the
players
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to have the fittest
body
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.
Therefore
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,
this
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kind of
sport
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is
need
Replace the word
needed
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to raise
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fitness and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
strength
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to minimise
risk
Correct article usage
the risk
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on
Change preposition
of
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injuries.
Consequently
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, most people think that
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sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
need
Verb problem
require
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high
Correct article usage
a high
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level of human
body
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fitness for the
players
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.
On the other hand
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, another kind of
sport
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which
play
Verb problem
involves
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individual and related to
pysichology
Correct your spelling
psychological
games might need mental
strength
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. Most
of
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apply
show examples
sports
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are not only physical endurance, but
also
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need
Verb problem
require
show examples
strong
Correct article usage
a strong
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mentality
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.
While
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body
Use synonyms
fitness
being
Wrong verb form
is
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drop
Replace the word
dropping
show examples
and the
game
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highly
Verb problem
is highly
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pressure
Wrong verb form
pressured
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someone
Check wording
apply
show examples
, the
athtletes
Correct your spelling
athletes
need to believe
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
their goals, either to win
and
Correct word choice
or
show examples
survive
Verb problem
to survive
show examples
.
As a result
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, in the
last
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minute of the
game
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, the
body
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strength
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does not help anymore, but
for
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apply
show examples
those who have the best
mentality
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will win the
game
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. In conclusion, people need to
recognize
Use the right word
recognise
show examples
, either
sports
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Use synonyms
team
Fix the agreement mistake
teams
show examples
have to maintain their
body
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strength
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as basic skills to win a
game
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, and they
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
to build their
mentality
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to
optimistic
Verb problem
be optimistic
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in every condition during the
game
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.
In addition
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,
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
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body
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and
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
show examples
mentality
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could improve
quality
Correct article usage
the quality
show examples
of life for everybody who
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
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sports
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regularly.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to organize your ideas clearly. Use clear paragraphs for each main point.
task achievement
Try to use simpler sentences for better clarity. Avoid complex structures that can confuse readers.
task achievement
Provide clearer examples to support your points. Specific examples help make your argument stronger.
task achievement
You show a clear opinion and understand both sides of the argument.
coherence and cohesion
You attempt to conclude your essay, which is important for the reader.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • endurance
  • resilience
  • team cohesion
  • mental fortitude
  • superior performance
  • dynamic environments
  • adaptability
  • decision-making
  • intensity and recovery
  • execution of strategies
  • morale
  • focus under pressure
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