IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The given pie charts provide data about the distribution of school funds in the UK over the period of 20 years from 1981 to 2001.

The given pie charts provide data about the distribution of school funds in the UK over the period of 20 years from 1981 to 2001.
The pie charts illustrate
statistic
Fix the agreement mistake
statistics
show examples
 about
school
Use synonyms
funds
Use synonyms
 distribution
according to
Linking Words
 four categories in the UK over a two-decade period between 1981 and 2001.
Overall
Linking Words
,
teacher's
Check wording
teachers'
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salery
Correct your spelling
salaries
 dominated the
school
Use synonyms
 costs throughout the period,
while
Linking Words
allocating
Use the right word
allocations
show examples
 for other expenditures revealed an upward and
downfall
Use the right word
downward
show examples
 trend, with
insurance
Correct article usage
the insurance
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 budget ratio increasing steadily. Examining the teacher's salary data in detail, it remained relatively stable at the largest fund, which was a
significant
Replace the word
significantly
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 higher fund than other
expenditure
Fix the agreement mistake
expenditures
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 over two
decadesas
Correct your spelling
decades
.
Initially
Linking Words
, it counted for around 40% in 1989, and
then
Linking Words
 reached
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half of
Use synonyms
school
Correct article usage
the school
show examples
funds
Use synonyms
 in 1991 before declining slightly to approximately 45% in the final year.
In contrast
Linking Words
, Other expenditure showed a much smaller
of
Check wording
proportion of
show examples
school
Use synonyms
 budgets. Furniture and equipment and insurance
funds
Use synonyms
 experienced
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 upward pattern,
while
Linking Words
 other
workers
Check wording
workers'
show examples
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
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 and resources figures decreased significantly. Furniture and equipment contributed 15% to
Use synonyms
school
Correct article usage
the school
show examples
 budget in 1981, and increased to around a quarter after plummeting to its
the
Correct article usage
apply
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smallest
contributing
Replace the word
contribution
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 at just over 5%.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
school
Correct article usage
the school
show examples
 allocated the smallest budget on insurance at 2% in 1981, rising slightly to about
one-ten
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one-tenth
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portion
Check wording
of the budget
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 in 2001.
Conversely
Linking Words
, other
expenditure
Fix the agreement mistake
expenditures
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 experienced a downward pattern.
other
Fix capitalization
Other
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workers
Check wording
workers'
show examples
 salary and resources figures
contibuted
Correct your spelling
contributed
 together around 40% of
funds
Use synonyms
, decreasing to just over
one-fourt
Correct your spelling
one-fourth
 segment.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words school, funds with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just over" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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