IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In our contemporary life, major
concerns
Check wording
attention
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have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 been paid to unpaid
community
Use synonyms
 service.
While
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 some argue that they should be compulsory, others state that
this
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 viewpoint is false. Considering its significance to society, I totally advocate the point of view that social
service
Fix the agreement mistake
services
show examples
 should be free of charge.
This
Linking Words
 essay will examine these two aspects before presenting a personal opinion.
To begin
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 with, one significant aspect is that these
community
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
 should be without money. One key advantage is to encourage individuals to work in a charity, which will enhance the lifestyle in these locations.
Moreover
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, serving
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society as a trainer for a game
such
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 as soccer or basketball will keep the adolescents away from the streets.
For example
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, the most recent research conducted in late 2024 in China recommended that social
services
Use synonyms
 contribute to enhancing the
community
Use synonyms
 financially.
Consequently
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, it is incontrovertibly true that these kinds of
services
Use synonyms
 must exist in any nation in order to achieve higher advancements.
On the other hand
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, if these
services
Use synonyms
 were paid, many people would try to do more social work for money, which would make the majority of
community
Use synonyms
 members suffer from the challenge that they are unable to afford to pay the required amount of
money
Punctuation problem
money,
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 either because they are so poor or
due to
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 unemployment.
Hence
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, it is conclusively true that some
services
Use synonyms
 must be paid
.
Change preposition
for.
show examples
To sum up
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,
while
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 some argue that
community
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
 should be free without any payments, others claim that these types of
services
Use synonyms
 must be paid
.
Change preposition
for.
show examples
 In my opinion, numerous
services
Use synonyms
 should be free of charge,
such
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 as charity work, training young teenagers, and participating in a national event.
However
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, other
services
Use synonyms
, like decorating a house for a neighbour, should be paid
.
Change preposition
for.
show examples

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task achievement
Make sure your main points are clear and fully support your opinion. Each point should directly relate to the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Use more connecting words and phrases to improve the flow of your ideas. This helps the reader understand how your points are linked.
task achievement
Try to give more relevant examples to strengthen your arguments. Specific examples make your points clearer and more convincing.
content
You have a clear opinion on the topic and express it well.
structure
Your essay follows a logical structure with an introduction and conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • compulsory
  • high school programmes
  • unpaid community service
  • charity
  • improving the neighbourhood
  • teaching sports
  • sense of responsibility
  • empathy
  • broader perspective
  • societal issues
  • college applications
  • job applications
  • positive impact
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