IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Most people are so selfish that not to attend social entertainment like a national festival. Still, they spend time on entertainment. Give reasons for the above issues and how to solve them.

In today`s modern era,
people
Use synonyms
 are not
give
Wrong verb form
giving
show examples
 their presence in social and national
festival
Fix the agreement mistake
festivals
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 they still have
time
Use synonyms
 to spend on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
movies and entertainment.
This
Linking Words
 is because they do not care about
Use synonyms
nation
Correct article usage
the nation
show examples
 and other
people
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 in some
cases
Add a comma
cases,
show examples
 they have
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
 business to handle. The ministry can
slove
Use the right word
solve
show examples
this
Linking Words
 issue by
declare
Wrong verb form
declaring
show examples
Use synonyms
holiday
Correct article usage
a holiday
show examples
 and
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
 all
people
Use synonyms
 aware
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
national
Correct pronoun usage
their national
show examples
 duties.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, individual
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 not caring about
Use synonyms
nation
Correct article usage
the nation
show examples
 and they are so selfish for their own business over the country.
Due to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 keep their shops and factories
in working
Verb problem
open
show examples
 on a special day for
region
Correct article usage
the region
show examples
 or the
nation
Use synonyms
, so they
not
Verb problem
do not
show examples
 allowing
holiday
Use synonyms
 to their
employes
Use the right word
employees
show examples
 to celebrate the festival, as they
are
Verb problem
do
show examples
 not
counting
Verb problem
consider
show examples
this
Linking Words
fastival
Correct your spelling
festival
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
important to celebrate.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, those
people
Use synonyms
 spend their leisure
time
Use synonyms
to watch
Wrong verb form
watching
show examples
 TV shows and movies, but they have a mindset
to not
Correct word order
not to
show examples
 attend
proud
Correct article usage
the proud
show examples
festivals
Use synonyms
 of the
nation
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, there was
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
research done by the Western Sydney University which says youth nowadays prefer to stay home and spend
time
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 entertainment, over the
resopsibility
Correct your spelling
responsibility
 for the
nation
Use synonyms
. In order to eradicate
this
Linking Words
 problem, the government should announce
public
Correct article usage
a public
show examples
holiday
Use synonyms
 for all the sectors and can make
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 aware
abot
Correct your spelling
of
 their responsibilities for the country.
As a result
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 will get
Correct article usage
a compusory
show examples
compusory
Correct your spelling
compulsory
 day
of
Change preposition
off
show examples
 from work and they can spend
time
Use synonyms
 to celebrate
this
Linking Words
 festival with the family.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the ministry can motivate
people
Use synonyms
 to celebrate special
day
Fix the agreement mistake
days
show examples
 for
Use synonyms
nation
Correct article usage
the nation
show examples
 with
proud
Replace the word
pride
show examples
, so they should know about the history
for celebrating
Change preposition
to celebrate
show examples
such
Linking Words
festivals
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, there was an article in
Times
Correct article usage
the Times
show examples
 of India which mentioned
if
Correct word choice
that if
show examples
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 give priority towards national
festivals
Use synonyms
,
then
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 can enjoy and celebrate
festivals
Use synonyms
 to know about the past of
Use synonyms
nation
Correct article usage
the nation
show examples
. In conclusion,
people
Use synonyms
 are so selfish in current days as they give priority to their income over
the
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 responsibilities towards the kingdom. The government should declare
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 national
holiday
Use synonyms
 to
clebrate
Correct your spelling
celebrate
 historical and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
natinal festivel
Correct your spelling
national festivals
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 should be aware
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the importance
behind
Change preposition
of
show examples
such
Linking Words
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
festivals
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your main points in the introduction. This helps the reader understand what to expect in your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Work on connecting your ideas better. Use linking words like 'firstly,' 'next,' and 'finally' to help guide the reader through your arguments.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and details to support your points. This can help strengthen your argument and make it more convincing.
task achievement
You have shown awareness of the reasons why people do not attend national festivals, which is a good start.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • selfish
  • attend
  • social
  • entertainment
  • national festival
  • spend time
  • reasons
  • issues
  • solve
  • important
  • community
  • personal
  • comfortable
  • busy
  • commitments
  • public events
  • trend
  • appealing
  • gatherings
  • strangers
What to do next:
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