IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Modern form of communication such as email and messaging have reduced the amount of time people spend seeing their frieds. This has had a negative effect on their social lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Have you ever thought
has
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that
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 the modern form of
communication
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Linking Words
such
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, such
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 as email and messaging
reduce
Wrong verb form
reduced
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 the amount of time
people
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 spend seeing their
friends
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? Over the
last
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 years
communication
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 became more simpler than before rather than sending a message in the mail box and waiting days , months, maybe even years to get an answer now from one button a message can be delivered in less than a second
however
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 there are critics which believe that these modern ways will have a bad effect on their modern lives. In my point of
view
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view,
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 I partially disagree with the
people
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that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 see that
modren
Correct your spelling
modern
communication
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 has
bad
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a bad
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 influence
to
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on
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pupils
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pupils'
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 social lives.
Firstly
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, modern
communication
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 became the most common way a human can use and
that is
Linking Words
 for several reasons, imagine wanting to meet a friend or have a chat with them but unforuanately your college , school , or any kind of work is stopping you, you can simply just use your phone , laptop , tablet , or Ipad to communicate with them either face-time , messaging , and sending an email.
In contrast
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, many
people
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 believe the opposite. They see modern communications
is
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as
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 more like a weapon to destroy
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people's
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people
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 social lives
which
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, which
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 is
also
Linking Words
 true . There are a lot of
people
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which
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who
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rarley
Correct your spelling
rarely
goes
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go
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 outside with
friends
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 and prefer to message them
or
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, or
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 worse
there
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, there
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 are some pupils
which
Fix the agreement mistake
who
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 use
there
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their
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modren
Correct your spelling
modern
communication
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 even when they are hanging out with their
friends
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. In conclusion, even if modern
communication
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reduce
Correct subject-verb agreement
reduces
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 the time
of
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apply
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people
Use synonyms
hanging
Verb problem
spend hanging
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out
Punctuation problem
out,
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 it is still vital
and
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, and
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 it is
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people
Check wording
people's
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 opinion whether they want to go outside with their
friends
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 or just
messaging
Wrong verb form
message
show examples
 them.

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task achievement
Make sure your essay has a clear introduction that presents your opinion clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Use paragraphs for each main idea to help the reader follow your thoughts better.
task achievement
Provide more examples to support your points about the effects of modern communication.
coherence and cohesion
You provided a good example of how modern communication helps people stay in touch despite their busy lives.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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