As technology is used more in the workplace, some people tend to believe that young people can find jobs more easily than older people. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Technology is very
commen
Correct your spelling
common
now, and as we can
see
Punctuation problem
see,
show examples
young
people
Use synonyms
often use it more
Linking Words
then
Use the right word
than
show examples
old
people
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
workplace
Correct article usage
the workplace
show examples
is needed
Wrong verb form
needs
show examples
more
technlogy
Correct your spelling
technology
and modern tools to make the work easier
insted
Correct your spelling
instead
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
manual
Correct article usage
a manual
show examples
system. old
people
Use synonyms
and young both of them they need to learn and due the huge speed of techology tools they need to learn in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
quick
Replace the word
quickly
show examples
way
Check wording
apply
show examples
. On the
onter
Correct your spelling
other
hand, old
people
Use synonyms
are more skilled
Linking Words
then
Use the right word
than
show examples
younge
Correct your spelling
young
people
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
it's
Verb problem
it
show examples
has been noticed that during
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
5
yeas
Use the right word
years
show examples
old
people
Use synonyms
struggle with new
technology
Add a comma
technology,
show examples
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
may
impct
Correct your spelling
impact
the
copmany
Correct your spelling
company
.
the
Fix capitalization
The
show examples
lack of
knowgley
Correct your spelling
knowledge
may
will
Verb problem
apply
show examples
lead to
resiged
Correct your spelling
resignation
from work.
To sum up
Linking Words
, I
belive
Use the right word
believe
show examples
in young generations
beacues
Correct your spelling
because
there
are very
Verb problem
is a
show examples
commitnmnt
Correct your spelling
commitment
in
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
work and
has
Wrong verb form
they have
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
self-confident
Replace the word
self-confidence
show examples
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Make sure to write a clear introduction that shows your opinion about the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Try to have better linking words between sentences and paragraphs to make your ideas clearer.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Check your spelling and grammar, as there are many errors that make it hard to read.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion that young people can find jobs easier.
coherence and cohesion
You covered both sides of the argument, which is good.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • technology
  • workplace
  • young people
  • older people
  • skills
  • attractive
  • employers
  • modern tools
  • software
  • adaptable
  • experience
  • problem-solving
  • benefit
  • mix
  • environment
  • values
  • skills
  • driven
  • tendency
  • capable
What to do next:
Look at other essays: