IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people think that robots are important for human`s future development. Other think that robots have negative impacts on society. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The bar chart
illustrate
Correct subject-verb agreement
illustrates
show examples
 the percentage of
Use synonyms
world’s
Correct article usage
the world’s
show examples
production
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 contribution from
Asia
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,
Europe
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, and the
rest
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 of the
world
Use synonyms
 over the period from 1840 to 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 there is a decline
trends
Change preposition
in trends
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 except
the
Change preposition
for the
show examples
 output from the
rest
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 of the
world
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. In 1840, the highest productive volume was
Asia
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, with 50%,
while
Linking Words
 the
rest
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 of the
world
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 only offered 10% of the
production
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.
However
Linking Words
, between 1840 and 1920, we could see there was a decreasing
trends
Fix the agreement mistake
trend
show examples
 in the output from
Asia
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.
In addition
Linking Words
, it hit rock bottom, with 20% in 1920.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the dedication of manufacturing from
Europe
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 climbed to
the
Correct pronoun usage
its
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 peak, with 50% in the same year.
Om
Use the right word
On
show examples
 the contrary, the only
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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region that experienced an
increase
Replace the word
increasing
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trends
Fix the agreement mistake
trend
show examples
 was the
rest
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 of the
world
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. In 1840, it contributed the lowest
production
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, compared to
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 two continents.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, it grew to about 38% in 1960, which was
as
Rephrase
apply
show examples
equal
as
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the devotion from
Europe
Use synonyms
. In 2000, the productive output from
Asia
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 was the highest, with about 45%,
whereas
Linking Words
 it from
Europe
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 was the lowest, with about 28%. At the same time, the
production
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 allowance from neither
Asia
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 nor
Europe
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 was about 31%. Compared to 1840, it was a really huge jump for
this
Linking Words
 area.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to structure your essay clearly with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Right now, the organization is a bit confusing.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use more linking words (like 'however', 'in addition', 'on the contrary') to connect your ideas better and make your writing flow.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points, such as the reasons for the decline of Asia's production or the increase from the rest of the world.
task achievement
Check your spelling; for example, 'illustrate' instead of 'illustrate' and 'on the contrary' instead of 'om the contrary'.
task achievement
You have provided a good overview of the data shown in the bar chart, which is very important for this type of task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Automation
  • Artificial intelligence
  • Innovation
  • Labor-saving devices
  • Precision engineering
  • Economic efficiency
  • Disruption
  • Workforce displacement
  • Ethical dilemmas
  • Regulation
  • Digital divide
  • Skill obsolescence
  • Social interaction
What to do next:
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