Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

Supporters claim that the
technology
Use synonyms
advancement
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
us to
became
Wrong verb form
become
show examples
unity. Critics,
on the other hand
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, suggest that it will influence
people
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to live
individuals
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as individuals
show examples
.
This
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essay will discuss both perspectives and give the writer's opinion
at the end
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. The
technology
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has
significant
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significantly
show examples
developed in the
last
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decade, particularly
in
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on
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the
internet
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. Through a laptop or smartphone,
people
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can connect with their relatives around the world without concern about
distances
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distance
show examples
.
For example
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, a student who
is
Verb problem
apply
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live
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lives
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in Jakarta can easily contact his parent
which
Fix the agreement mistake
who
show examples
is living in
different
Correct article usage
a different
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city. The
internet
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is
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use
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used
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to keep the
relation
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relationship
show examples
between children and their parents, and when
this
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emotion
still
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is still
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maintain
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maintained
show examples
, their emotions would keep them in harmony.
On the other hand
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, critics
about
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of
show examples
technology
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has
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have
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been debated. They said that the cutting edge of
technology
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, particularly in weapons
widening
Check wording
development
show examples
,
such
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as nuclear
weapon
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weapons
show examples
. Every
nations
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nation
show examples
in the world
have
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has
show examples
started to research more in
this
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technology
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.
Although
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it is very important for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
renewable energy, it
also
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has
dangerous
Correct article usage
a dangerous
show examples
side for humanity because the
effect
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effects
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of the nuclear boom can damage the world
instanly
Correct your spelling
instantly
. Another reason is
the
Correct article usage
that
show examples
technology
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also
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introduce
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introduces
show examples
smartphone
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smartphones
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to
people
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.
Young
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The young
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generation, especially
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
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love
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use
Verb problem
to use
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this
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thing
always
Punctuation problem
, always
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shows
the
Correct article usage
a
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lack of
careless
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care
show examples
with
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people
Correct article usage
the people
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around them. They tend to live in
selfish
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selfishness
show examples
. Those reasons make
people
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care about the
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
of
technology
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. In conclusion, despite the negative opinions,
Technology
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influences every aspect
in
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of
show examples
our lives now, especially with the
Internet
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. We
use
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the
internet
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every day for
working
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work
show examples
, searching
of
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for
show examples
information, and
keep
Wrong verb form
keeping
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in touch with our
beloving
Correct word choice
beloved
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ones in another place. I believe if we
use
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this
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technology
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with
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
good purpose, it
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
us
to be
Verb problem
apply
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united and more
care
Replace the word
caring
show examples
with
Change preposition
towards
show examples
people
Use synonyms
around.

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task response
Your introduction needs to clearly state both viewpoints and your opinion in a simple way. It should also be more clearly structured.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supports it with examples. Some ideas are not fully developed or explained.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear transitions between points and paragraphs. This will help the reader follow your argument.
task response
Check your grammar and sentence structure. Some sentences have errors that can confuse the reader.
supported main points
You have provided examples from everyday life and made an effort to present both sides of the argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Topic Vocabulary:
  • connectivity
  • communicate
  • social media
  • virtual meetings
  • global community
  • isolation
  • distract
  • face-to-face interaction
  • personal connections
  • dependency
  • technology addiction
  • digital divide
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