IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that it is better to live in a horizontal city while others think of a vertical city. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

crowd
Correct article usage
The crowd
show examples
 have different views about whether or not it is more beneficial to live in a garden city.
Although
Linking Words
 there are some advantages to inhabitation in these areas, I would think that it is better to dwell in vertical cities. There are some good arguments for living in individual houses. First of all, these kinds of houses, which are mostly less than two
strories
Correct your spelling
stories
, contain few stairs. It means that
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
 who live there are less likely to have to climb countless stairs in case of a lift breakdown.
This
Linking Words
 advantage leads to more convenience, especially for the older population.
Secondly
Linking Words
, horizontal areas have a lower concentration of buildings and population per unit, so there would be less noise pollution produced from dwellers.
As a result
Linking Words
, living there might be more suitable for most individuals. Despite the above arguments, I believe that towering cities provide a decent life for many
nation
Fix the agreement mistake
nations
show examples
. The key reason associated with
this
Linking Words
 view is that since skyscrapers enable a large number of families to live in the same building, citizens can be in the vicinity of their parents and friends.
As a result
Linking Words
, they would be able to take care of elderly parents or rely on friends as babysitters. The second reason is that vertical megacities usually offer reasonable property costs, because there are more houses constructed in an area. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 living in garden cities offers many benefits, it seems to me that
crowd
Correct article usage
a crowd
show examples
 can have a convenient and decent life in dense buildings.

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task achievement
Your introduction needs to clearly state both views before presenting your opinion. Try to include a clear thesis statement.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to include transitions between your paragraphs for better flow and clarity. Words like 'firstly', 'secondly', and 'finally' can help.
task achievement
Provide more examples or specific situations to back up your points. For instance, explain how living close to family helps support.
task achievement
You provided a clear opinion in your essay, which is important in task responses.
task achievement
Your points about convenience and social connections in vertical cities are well noted. They show good understanding of benefits.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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