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Writing Samples
Band 5

Multinational companies are becoming increasingly common in developing countries. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Global
companies
Use synonyms
 are gaining more popularity among third-world countries. The main advantages of
this
Linking Words
 are that they generate more employment in a country and provide good benefits to
employees
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, the major drawbacks are long working
hours
Use synonyms
 and
unsecured
Use the right word
insecure
show examples
 jobs. One benefit of multinational
companies
Use synonyms
 is that they employ a large workforce.
This
Linking Words
 is because these big
companies
Use synonyms
 have more than two or three branches around the country, thereby
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 increasing the employment rate within the country.
Moreover
Linking Words
, these
companies
Use synonyms
 have good benefits for their staff, as compared to local
companies
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as yearly travel compensation and full coverage family insurance.
For instance
Linking Words
, Amazon provides a yearly international trip to the employee and their family, covering accommodation and return tickets.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, having to
work
Use synonyms
 extremely long
hours
Use synonyms
 is the major disadvantage of being in
such
Linking Words
companies
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is because these
companies
Use synonyms
 handle clients who
work
Use synonyms
 in different
time
Use synonyms
zone
Fix the agreement mistake
zones
show examples
.
Hence
Linking Words
, the
employees
Use synonyms
 have to
work
Use synonyms
 in their local
time
Use synonyms
 zone
as well as
Linking Words
 per
Correct article usage
the client
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client
Check wording
client's
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time
Use synonyms
 zone, which can be several
hours
Use synonyms
 apart.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, losing a job at any
time
Use synonyms
 is the biggest fear of
employees
Use synonyms
 working for
such
Linking Words
organizations
Use the right word
organisations
show examples
, unlike
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 sector, where an employee cannot be fired from the job easily.
For example
Linking Words
, in Apple Inc., it is reported several times that the
employees
Use synonyms
 are fired
due to
Linking Words
 their grudges with their boss. In conclusion, multinational
organizations
Use the right word
organisations
show examples
 have
benefitted
Use the right word
benefited
show examples
 developing countries by increasing the employment rate and making the lives of
employees
Use synonyms
 better by providing good benefits.
However
Linking Words
, it does not have strict policies for
their
Fix the agreement mistake
its
show examples
 staff as they have to
work
Use synonyms
 long
hours
Use synonyms
 and fear
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
losing their job at any
time
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Your introduction clearly states the advantages and disadvantages, which is good. However, you could include a more detailed overview of both points in the introduction to guide the reader better.
coherence and cohesion
You presented your ideas clearly, but some sentences could be connected better. Try using linking words (like 'however' or 'in addition') more effectively to improve flow between your ideas.
task achievement
The examples you provided were relevant and helped support your points. Make sure to always connect your examples back to your main ideas to show how they relate.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples that illustrate your points, which strengthens your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion nicely summarizes the main points, maintaining a clear stance on the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Globalization
  • Multinational corporations (MNCs)
  • Foreign direct investment (FDI)
  • Developing economies
  • Infrastructure development
  • Capacity building
  • Cultural diversity
  • Sustainability
  • Corporate social responsibility (CSR)
  • Technological transfer
  • Economic disparity
  • Market saturation
  • Brain drain
  • Indigenous industries
  • Expatriate management
  • Trade imbalance
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