IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The gap between the rich and the poor is increasingly wide, as poor people become poorer and rich people become richer. What problems could this situations casue??what are the solutions to address those problems??

It is commonly believed that there is a gap between rich
people
Use synonyms
 and poor
people
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. It's becoming wider.
This
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 issue has become increasingly serious in recent years, affecting social equality and economic stability. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss the major causes of
this
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 problem and suggest some practical solutions. There are several reasons why rich
people
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 are becoming richer.
Firstly
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, there are many available jobs offered by richer
people
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 through their companies. Unfortunately, human resource departments tend to select a candidate with good skills and
Correct article usage
a highs
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highs
Fix the agreement mistake
high
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 education level
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 qualifications
usually
Verb problem
are usually
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will
Verb problem
apply
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not be
with
Change preposition
to
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low income
Use the right word
low-income
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people
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.
Secondly
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, poor
people
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support
Verb problem
receive support
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 from wealthier communities, which is not always provided.
ultimately
Fix capitalization
Ultimately
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,
this
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 results in poor
people
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 becoming poorer. To tackle
this
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 problem, a number of steps can be taken. One effective solution would be
Correct article usage
a jobs
show examples
jobs
Fix the agreement mistake
job
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 fair or employment programs that focus on roles requiring fewer qualifications and target underqualified individuals. Another way to deal with the issue is
the
Correct word choice
that the
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 government should advise and encourage universities to make fully free virtual courses and training
providing
Punctuation problem
, providing
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 certificates upon completion,
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this
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 will enhance the skills of underqualified
people
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. If these measures are implemented, it is likely that the situation will improve. In conclusion, poor
people
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 becoming poorer
while
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rich
Correct article usage
the rich
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becoming
Wrong verb form
become
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 richer is a serious problem.
However
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, we should all try to mitigate the causes in many effective ways
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such
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, such
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 as collaboration between
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 and businesses of wealthy
people
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 to find a long-term solution.

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coherence and cohesion
Try to clearly separate your ideas into distinct paragraphs. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea.
task achievement
Add specific examples to support your points, especially in your body paragraphs.
task achievement
Make sure to explain your solutions in a bit more detail to show how they can help.
structure
You have a clear introduction and conclusion that outline the problem and suggest solutions.
content
Your ideas are logical and relate to the topic of wealth disparity.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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