IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Today, customers can find foods made in other countries in their local supermarket. I believe
this
Linking Words
 is a positive development, because
this
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 can be a cultural sharing moment between
countrie
Correct your spelling
countries
, and
also
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, there will be more options for
consumer
Fix the agreement mistake
consumers
show examples
. At the same
time
Punctuation problem
time,
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 there
are
Verb problem
apply
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can be
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 drawbacks as well,
such
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 as,
transporation
Correct your spelling
transportation
 process can
Use synonyms
effect
Use the right word
affect
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the freshness and quality can be lower because of
long
Correct article usage
a long
show examples
journy
Correct your spelling
journey
. On the one hand, finding different
taste
Check wording
types of
show examples
food
Use synonyms
localy
Correct your spelling
locally
 can help people
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
understand
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
other cultures, different cooking methods and
ingredients
Correct article usage
the ingredients
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 they use. With
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use the right word
globalisation
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globalization
Add a comma
globalization,
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 people have to appreciate and understand
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
other cultures
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 sharing
food
Use synonyms
 between countries can help
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
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 sharing moment.
For example
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, most of the
food
Use synonyms
 packages include details about
there
Use the right word
their
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 origin and back
story
Use the right word
backstory
show examples
 about the
food
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
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, having more varieties to choose from can be really helpful,
specially
Use the right word
especially
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
situations like
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 healthy reasons
Punctuation problem
, beacause
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beacause
Correct your spelling
because
 sometimes individuals have to buy
food
Use synonyms
contain
Wrong verb form
containing
show examples
specil ingrediants
Correct your spelling
special ingredients
.
Thus
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,
it is clear that
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 having
huge
Correct article usage
a huge
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 variation is an advantage in many situations.
On the other hand
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, there
are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
can be drawbacks in
this
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 situation,
sucha
Correct your spelling
such
 as
long
Correct article usage
a long
show examples
transportion
Correct your spelling
transportation
 process
can
Correct pronoun usage
that can
show examples
Use synonyms
effect
Use the right word
affect
show examples
 the
food
Use synonyms
 in
bad
Correct article usage
a bad
show examples
 way.
All most
Use the right word
Almost
show examples
 all the time
Punctuation problem
, foods
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foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
Verb problem
is transport
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transport
Replace the word
transported
show examples
 using sea
cargos
Fix the agreement mistake
cargo
show examples
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 takes weeks or months to reach the destination. It can easily
Use synonyms
effect
Use the right word
affect
show examples
 the freshness of the edible item.
For instance
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, fruits
such
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 as
apple
Fix the agreement mistake
apples
show examples
,
graphs
Use the right word
grapes
show examples
 and
banana
Fix the agreement mistake
bananas
show examples
 have to
preserve
Wrong verb form
be preserved
show examples
 using chemicals
while
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 shipping from one place to another.
Furthermore
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,
this
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 can
Use synonyms
effect
Use the right word
affect
show examples
quality
Correct article usage
the quality
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 of the products because of all the chemicals and packaging
use
Replace the word
used
show examples
. In conclusion, I believe
this
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 is a positive development because
this
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 can educate people about different cultures and having variety can be
realy
Correct your spelling
really
 helpful
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 at the same
time
Punctuation problem
time,
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 there are
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 negative aspects
like
Punctuation problem
, like
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 product quality and freshness can
affect
Wrong verb form
be affected
show examples
 badly
Linking Words
while
Change preposition
during
show examples
 transport.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has one main idea and stick to it. This helps readers follow your points better.
coherence and cohesion
Check your grammar and spelling. Simple mistakes can make your essay hard to read.
task achievement
Provide clearer examples to support your points. This makes your argument stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Try to connect your ideas better. Using linking words can help with this, for example, 'however', 'moreover'.
task achievement
You present a clear opinion that this is a positive development.
task achievement
You attempt to explore both sides of the argument, which shows good critical thinking.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • nutrition
  • cultural exposure
  • competitive markets
  • economic boost
  • employment opportunities
  • carbon footprint
  • environmental impact
  • local produce
  • food security
  • global supply chain
  • sustainable practices
  • consumer choice
  • market dynamics
  • price competition
  • agricultural sector
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