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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think it is better to have many short holidays during the year. Others believe it would be beneficial to have fewer, longer vacations. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Adapted

There is no denying the fact that short holidays during the year are better than longer vacations.
While
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 it is a commonly held belief that resting for a long time is more beneficial to people, there is
also
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 an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that when you take less than two weeks is useful than the longer.
To begin
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 with, focusing.
In other words
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, when bodies have a moment to rest, they will feel comfortable, which is helpful to focus on their jobs when they come back.
In addition
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, they still remember their work tasks after a short vacation.
For example
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, my friend got one week off from his work to travel, he told me that it helped him to receive energy
,
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.
show examples
Moreover
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, when he came again, he did very well, because that helped him to regain his powerful attention. Another point to consider is time management. It is
also
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 possible to say that it is crucial to have life with your family, now as you know most families spend hours or days busy care of their kids, which creates a hole between them.
Moreover
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, important to put the purpose of your holiday.
For instance
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, all the parents who do not spend a day with their children, when they have a free week , do not stay with them, and
that is
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 so bad
,
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;
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 it is one of the most necessary things to have a good relationship with your family. In conclusion, despite the family having different views, I believe that it is short and
useful
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
beneficial
especially
Punctuation problem
, especially
show examples
 every two or three months.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction and conclusion. Your opinion should be clear and consistent throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Try to organize your ideas into clear paragraphs. Each paragraph should have a main idea and supporting details. This will make your essay easier to understand.
task achievement
Use more relevant examples to support your points. Providing examples can help explain your ideas better and make your argument stronger.
content
You have included personal experiences in your essay, which makes it relatable.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • holiday
  • vacation
  • stress
  • work
  • break
  • productive
  • escape
  • routine
  • travel
  • experience
  • relax
  • change
  • environment
  • restorative
  • fulfilling
  • in-depth
  • culture
  • activity
  • period
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