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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Opinion Essay 👉 Prompt: Some people believe that children should be taught how to manage money at school. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

This
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 essay will discuss whether
children
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 should be taught how to manage
money
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 at school or not. From my point of view, I think
definetly
Correct your spelling
definitely
children
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 must
to
Verb problem
apply
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learn simple finances
than
Rephrase
rather than
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 complicated maths that they will
not use never
Rephrase
never use
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 in the future.
To begin
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 with, one of the subjects that should be mandatory at school
should be
Wrong verb form
is
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 Finances. But with
this
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 term I mean , learning how to manage
money
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 since you are little. Because if you learn simple
operation
Fix the agreement mistake
operations
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 and habits with
money
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 in the
future
Punctuation problem
future,
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 you will manage the
money
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 in another way that will be more effective and smart than if you do not know anything about it.
For example
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, introducing financial literacy from an early age can help
children
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 understand the value of
money
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, saving habits, budgeting, and the consequences of overspending.
Instead
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 of only focusing on abstract math problems, schools could teach useful concepts like how to create a savings plan or the importance of avoiding unnecessary debt. These skills would prepare students for real-world financial challenges that they will inevitably face as adults.
On the other hand
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, being aware
how
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of how
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 to spend
money
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 smartly and invest it , it is the best way to be away
of
Change preposition
from
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 debts and financial
backrupts
Correct your spelling
bankruptcy
 in the future.
To conclude
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, I personally think that it would be
a
Correct article usage
an
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 essential and critical change if
children
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 are taught how to manage
money
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 at school and
growth
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grow
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 with a certain bases that help them to grow
a richness
Correct word choice
rich
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 when
the
Use the right word
they
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 reach
the
Correct article usage
apply
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adulthood.

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task achievement
Your essay has a clear viewpoint, but try to explain your ideas more fully. Add more examples and details to support your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure your paragraphs flow better. Use linking words to connect your thoughts. This will help your reader follow your ideas smoothly.
language use
Check your grammar and spelling. For instance, it should be 'definitely' and 'help them grow' instead of 'growth'.
content
You show a strong belief that financial education is important for children. This is a relevant and timely topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial literacy
  • budgeting
  • savings
  • spending wisely
  • informed decisions
  • financial behavior
  • debt accumulation
  • financial goals
  • investments
  • consumer culture
  • impulsive purchases
  • curriculum
  • responsible financial habits
  • economic awareness
  • money management skills
What to do next:
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