IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

In some countries, more and more parents begin to teach their children at home rather than send them to school, . Do the advantages of the trend outweigh the disadvantages?

There are more and more families
tend
Correct pronoun usage
that tend
show examples
 to let
chilren
Correct your spelling
children
attending
Wrong verb form
attend
show examples
home-schooling
Use the right word
homeschooling
show examples
 rather than traditional
school
Use synonyms
 education.
Althugh
Correct your spelling
Although
 there are increasing people
let
Correct pronoun usage
who let
show examples
 their
kids
Use synonyms
accepting
Wrong verb form
accept
show examples
 home-schooling, I believe that sending them to
school
Use synonyms
 is better. There are several
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
 why I consider educating
children
Use synonyms
 in
school
Use synonyms
owns
Verb problem
has
show examples
 more advantages.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
school
Use synonyms
 subjects are normally taught by up
ten
Change preposition
to ten
show examples
 different teachers. Namely, students could receive more professional academic training.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
school
Use synonyms
 provides
children
Use synonyms
 social experience with different relationships(pupils and pupils or students with teachers).
For example
Linking Words
,
children
Use synonyms
 learn how to get on with each other in
cooperation
Replace the word
cooperative
show examples
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
,
also
Linking Words
 how important
is
Check wording
competitiveness is
show examples
competitivnesss
Check wording
apply
show examples
.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
, I do not deny that home-schooling has its own
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
show examples
.
Ordinaryly
Correct your spelling
Ordinarily
, parents can respond to what their
children
Use synonyms
 need and how they learn best.
For example
Linking Words
, once they notice their
kids
Use synonyms
 might not
Verb problem
be comprehensive
show examples
comprehensive
Replace the word
comprehending
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
math, they can change the educational
way
Check wording
approach
show examples
 to let students understand as
efficient
Replace the word
efficiently
show examples
 as possible.
Moreover
Linking Words
, discipline problems are avoided by
this
Linking Words
. For
instence
Correct your spelling
instance
,
Linking Words
this kind
Fix the agreement mistake
these kinds
show examples
 of
kids
Use synonyms
 will not suffer
uner potencial
Correct your spelling
under potential
school
Use synonyms
 bullying. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 educating
kids
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 home has various
upper hands
Check wording
advantages
show examples
, I still think letting
children
Use synonyms
 gain
acknoledge do overweigh
Correct your spelling
acknowledgement outweighs
 other choices.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supports it well.
task achievement
Avoid grammatical errors in your sentences; it will help express your ideas more clearly.
task achievement
Provide more detailed examples or explanations to support your points.
task achievement
You show a clear opinion about the topic, which is good for task response.
coherence and cohesion
You have a basic structure with introduction, body, and conclusion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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