IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Tourism has increased so much over the last 50 years that it is having a mainly negative impact on local inhabitants and the environment. However, others claim that it is good for the economy. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of tourism and give your own opinion.

In recent years, there has been a noticeable increase in
tourism
Use synonyms
 having more negative effects than
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
positive
one
Fix the agreement mistake
ones
show examples
 on local people and their surroundings.
While
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 some argue that
Use synonyms
travel related
Use the right word
travel-related
show examples
 industries greatly stimulate local economies.
This
Linking Words
 essay will explore the advantages and potential drawbacks of
tourism
Use synonyms
. The most powerful argument in favour of
tourism
Use synonyms
 is that it significantly boosts the local economy. The
travel
Use synonyms
 sector has fueled the economic process substantially for several key reasons,
such
Linking Words
 as an increase
of
Change preposition
in
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 foreign visitors, improvement of public infrastructure and subsequent growth of job placements. As tourists’ arrival brings not only people, but
also
Linking Words
 their financial resources.
As a result
Linking Words
 inflow of money adds to regional GDP, and governments try to catch up with appropriate infrastructural facilities that would
otherwise
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 stay
undeveloped
Punctuation problem
undeveloped,
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like
Change preposition
as
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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is the case with the UAE, where
tourism
Use synonyms
 is the major revenue source for the country.
Moreover
Linking Words
, all these economic processes involve increased demand in the job market
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is
also
Linking Words
 in favour of civilians.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there is widespread belief that mass
travel
Use synonyms
 can negatively affect ecosystems, which may result in resource depletion.
This
Linking Words
 perspective is supported by the example of
Maldives
Correct article usage
the Maldives
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 islands, where over-visitation has altered the environment of coral reefs and strained natural resources. In conclusion, the benefits of
Use synonyms
travel
Correct article usage
the travel
show examples
 industry
including
Punctuation problem
, including
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economy
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 advancement and job creation, clearly outweigh the potential disadvantages
Linking Words
while
Punctuation problem
, while
show examples
 it is essential to address the ecological consequences.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence. This helps guide the reader through your ideas.
task achievement
Use more examples to support your points. This strengthens your arguments and makes them clearer.
coherence and cohesion
Try to connect your ideas with linking words like 'however', 'moreover', 'on the other hand' to improve flow.
task achievement
The essay clearly identifies the positive and negative aspects of tourism.
task achievement
Good use of examples like the UAE and Maldives to illustrate points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • negative impact
  • local inhabitants
  • economy
  • boosts
  • cultural exchange
  • preservation
  • restoration
  • environmental degradation
  • overcrowding
  • strain
  • infrastructure
  • cultural dilution
  • commercialized
  • economic dependence
  • sustainable tourism
  • mitigate
  • adverse effects
  • regulation
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