IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1.5

Research into new types of medicine is essential to improve health and deal with disease. Who do you think should fund this research- private companies, individuals, or governments?

By acknowledging current
health related
Use the right word
health-related
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 issues
recently
Rephrase
apply
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from the past 10 years, it is vital that more
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
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 should be conducted on new medicines for the betterment of health and to cope with diseases. To do so, funding plays a
neccessay
Correct your spelling
necessary
 role. I strongly believe that private companies
Linking Words
as
Punctuation problem
, as
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 well as
well connected
Use the right word
well-connected
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individuals
Punctuation problem
individuals,
show examples
 should step forward to contribute
in
Change preposition
to
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such
Linking Words
 good deeds. First and
formost
Correct your spelling
foremost
 reason to back my opinion is that, government funding to
health
Correct article usage
the health
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 sector is allocated with limits which
relays
Verb problem
rely
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 on the taxes they collect from people.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, people with good fortune could invest in
such
Linking Words
medical
Replace the word
medically
show examples
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task achievement
Include more specific examples of how private companies or individuals have successfully funded medical research in the past.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and flows logically to the next one to improve overall coherence.
coherence and cohesion
Add a conclusion to summarize your main points and restate your opinion clearly at the end of the essay.
positive
You have a clear opinion and a good opening statement.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • funding
  • research and development
  • private sector
  • public health
  • innovations
  • equitable access
  • breakthroughs
  • crowdfunding
  • collaborative approach
  • healthcare advancements
  • niche areas
  • health improvements
  • international partnerships
  • developing countries
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