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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the percentage of workers from five different European countries that were absent for a day or more due to illness from 1991 to 2001. Summarise the information by selecting reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the percentage of workers from five different European countries that were absent for a day or more due to illness from 1991 to 2001. Summarise the information by selecting reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The line graph illustrates the
proportion
Use synonyms
 of employees with
illness
Use synonyms
 absence in five European
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
 over a decade.
Overall
Linking Words
,
Netherlands
Correct article usage
the Netherlands
show examples
 generally had the highest ratio of workers absent
due to
Linking Words
illness
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 Sweden
, Netherlands
Correct word choice
and, Netherlands
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 experienced an upward trend, the UK and Germany witnessed an uneven trend
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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France
Use synonyms
 exhibited a downward trend. Thiếu điểm đặc biệt In 1991,
France
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 had the highest
proportion
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 of
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
 with
illness
Use synonyms
 absence at 5%, followed by
Correct article usage
the Netherland
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Netherland
Fix the agreement mistake
Netherlands
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 and Sweden at 4.7% and 3%, respectively.
Although
Linking Words
France
Use synonyms
 experienced a slight growth to 5.1% by 1992, it rapidly
to
Verb problem
declined to
show examples
 4.1% by 1993 and continuously declined in the following six years by 1.2% before remaining unchanged at 3% from 1999 to 2001.
Similarly
Linking Words
,
Netherlands’
Correct article usage
the Netherlands’
show examples
proportion
Use synonyms
 of employees with
illness
Use synonyms
 absence
also
Linking Words
 dropped significantly over a four-year period after surpassing
France
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 and reaching 5.7% in 1992. From 1996, it gradually increased and hit 5.5% in 2001. Despite fluctuating around 3% during the first five years of the investigated period, the ratio of Swedish workers
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 were absent
due to
Linking Words
illness
Use synonyms
 soared to 4.8% by 2001, which was almost double
of
Correct pronoun usage
that of
show examples
 the UK’s percentage in the same year. In 1991, 2.7% of the UK’s ratio of workers was absent
due to
Linking Words
illness
Use synonyms
, which was more than that of Germany’s
proportion
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 by 1.3%. In the following eight years, both countries fluctuated and returned
back
Rephrase
apply
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to their percentages
in
Change preposition
at
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 the beginning of the observed period by 2001.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "due to".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words proportion, illness, france with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 3 times.
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