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Writing Samples
Band 4

IT IS IMPORTANT FOR PEOPLE TO TAKE RISKS, IN BOTH THEIR PROFESSIONAL LIVES AND PERSONAL LIVES. DO THE ADVANTAGE Of TAKING RISKS OUTWEIGH WHE DISADVANTAGES?

Taking
possibility
Correct article usage
the possibility
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 is often viewed as a catalyst for growth, but it
also
Linking Words
 carries potential drawbacks.
While
Linking Words
 danger can lead to significant rewards in both professional and personal spheres,
their
Fix the agreement mistake
its
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 benefits generally outweigh the disadvantages when approached thoughtfully.One major advantage of risk-taking is the opportunity for substantial progress. In professional life, individuals who embrace
risks
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as starting a business or pursuing innovative projects, often achieve breakthroughs that lead to career advancement or financial success.
For instance
Linking Words
, entrepreneurs like Elon Musk
took
Verb problem
gained
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 significant exposure to establish companies like Tesla, reaping rewards that reshaped industries.
Similarly
Linking Words
, in personal life,
risks
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as relocating to a new country or pursuing a new relationship can foster personal growth, resilience, and broader perspectives. These experiences often lead to self-discovery and
fulfillment
Use the right word
fulfilment
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 that outweigh initial uncertainties.
However
Linking Words
,
peril
Fix the agreement mistake
perils
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 are not without downsides. Poorly calculated
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
show examples
 in professional contexts,
such
Linking Words
 as reckless investments, can lead to financial ruin or career setbacks. In personal life, taking
risks
Use synonyms
 like ending a stable relationship may result in emotional distress or regret. Despite these potential consequences, the disadvantages can often be mitigated through careful planning and informed decision-making.In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
risks
Use synonyms
 carry inherent uncertainties, their advantages—career growth, personal development, and transformative opportunities—tend to outweigh the drawbacks. By balancing courage with caution, individuals can harness the power of risk-taking to achieve meaningful outcomes in both their professional and personal lives.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly define what you mean by 'risks' in your introduction to set the tone for your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Try to vary your sentence structures a bit more to keep the reader engaged.
task achievement
Provide a bit more detail or specific examples in your body paragraphs to support your points more strongly.
task achievement
The examples of Elon Musk and risking personal changes are strong and relatable.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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