IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some young people are leaving the country side to lives in cities and towns,leaving only old people in the country side. What problems are caused by this issue. What can be done to solve this issue

There are many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
young
people
Use synonyms
decieded
Correct your spelling
decided
 to leave the
countryside
Use synonyms
. The main factor of
this
Linking Words
 problem is the
fewar
Correct your spelling
few
 job
chances
Check wording
opportunities
show examples
 in
Use synonyms
countryside
Correct article usage
the countryside
show examples
.
Goverments
Correct your spelling
Governments
 can solve
this
Linking Words
 situation by
persuaded
Wrong verb form
persuading
show examples
 the companies to open branches
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
countryside
Use synonyms
 and
activated
Wrong verb form
activating
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. There is no denying the fact that living in
Use synonyms
countryside
Correct article usage
the countryside
show examples
 is
extremly
Correct your spelling
extremely
 hard for many reasons,
firstly
Linking Words
countryside
Use synonyms
 does not have the main services that can help young
people
Use synonyms
 who
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 living there
Linking Words
for
Punctuation problem
, for
show examples
 example, supermarkets, recreational facilities and a good healthcare system.
Secondly
Linking Words
 there are no chances to find better jobs for their careers which make them leaving to cities and town to get a work. There are many solutions that can fix
this
Linking Words
 situation.
Goverments
Correct your spelling
Governments
 can
devolpming
Correct your spelling
develop
Use synonyms
countryside
Correct article usage
the countryside
show examples
 by convincing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
companies and
foundition
Correct your spelling
foundations
 to
investments
Replace the word
invest
show examples
 in
Use synonyms
countryside
Correct article usage
the countryside
show examples
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 can create
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
envierment
Correct your spelling
environment
 for young
people
Use synonyms
 and
encourag
Correct your spelling
encourage
 them to stay with old
people
Use synonyms
 and make
balance
Correct article usage
a balance
show examples
 in society. In
conclution
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
young
people
Use synonyms
 leaving the
countryside
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
has
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
fewar
Correct your spelling
fewer
 services can help them and especially when it comes
about
Change preposition
to
show examples
 job
chancese
Correct your spelling
chances
.
Goverments
Correct your spelling
Governments
 can solve
this
Linking Words
 problem by
coopertion
Correct your spelling
cooperation
 with companies and
foundtions
Correct your spelling
foundations
 to
investments
Replace the word
invest
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
Linking Words
 area.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Make sure to clearly explain each point you make. Use more examples to support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Work on organizing your essay better. Try to use clear paragraphs for each main point.
coherence and cohesion
Check your grammar and spelling. There are some mistakes that make it hard to read.
task achievement
You have identified key issues for young people in the countryside, like lack of jobs and services.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: