IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

You recently bought a new piece of technology for your home. Your friend is interested in purchasing the same item. Write a letter to your friend. •Explain what the technology is. •Describe how it is helpful to you. •Give your advice on whether your friend should buy it or not.

Dear Anmol, I hope my letter finds you well. I remember you mentioned
last
Linking Words
 time when we met that you are
also
Linking Words
 looking to buy a new
laptop
Use synonyms
. I am happy to share that I have just purchased a new
laptop
Use synonyms
 yesterday. It belongs to
HP
Correct article usage
the HP
show examples
 company, it has bif storage of 1TB
Linking Words
that
Check wording
storage that
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 is enough to store important work documents and emails with big
attachement
Correct your spelling
attachments
.
Above all
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, it has a folding and touch feature which means you can use it
a
Change preposition
as a
show examples
tablet as it comes with a touch screen. I was browsing for a compatible
laptop
Use synonyms
 since
last
Linking Words
 month
as
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
 my old one is not functioning well. After my own research on
Correct article usage
the
show examples
internet and suggestions from my close ones, I
finally
Linking Words
 ended up
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
buying
this
Linking Words
laptop
Use synonyms
. It gives me
one
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
year
Use the right word
one-year
show examples
 free subscription
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
microsoft
Fix capitalization
Microsoft
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 365
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 is really helpful to me to complete my projects of work
.
Check wording
projects.
show examples
Also
Linking Words
, it has
fingerprint
Correct article usage
a fingerprint
show examples
 option for better privacy reasons. I
beleive
Correct your spelling
believe
this
Linking Words
 would be a great option for you
as well
Linking Words
as
Punctuation problem
, as
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 it has all the necessary features you need to
do
Verb problem
apply
show examples
work from home.
Moreover
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, there is
sale
Correct article usage
a sale
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
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going on for 20%
on
Change preposition
off
show examples
 all laptops
due to
Linking Words
summer
Correct article usage
the summer
show examples
 season,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 means you get a very good deal at
this
Linking Words
. Blessings, Kajalpreet

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improvement
Make sure to check for spelling mistakes, such as 'bif' instead of 'big' and 'beleive' instead of 'believe'.
improvement
Try to break your ideas into clearer paragraphs for better flow. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea.
improvement
Although the letter has a friendly tone, you can add a personal touch with a question about your friend's life or work.
strength
You described the laptop’s features well, making it sound appealing to your friend.
strength
Starting with a friendly greeting sets a good tone for the letter.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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