IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Several languages are in danger of extinction because they are spoken by a very small number of people. People say that govt should spend public money on saving these languages. Discuss both views and give ur opinion.

Someone thinks that some part of taxes should be spent on helping to save
languages
Use synonyms
 from
disapearing
Correct your spelling
disappearing
. I agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement. Unfortunately, new generations do not pay much attention
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their culture and traditions and do not take much care of what
language
Use synonyms
 they speak,
while
Linking Words
 their native tongue is the most important thing to identify them as a member of a nation.
However
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 can provide learning of
languages
Use synonyms
 and cultural lessons in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
schools and other educational institutions to inspire teenagers to be more patriotic. That would help
people
Use synonyms
 understand the value of their native
language
Use synonyms
, make them
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
use it in everyday life and teach their children about
this
Linking Words
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in multinational countries there are more than one
language
Use synonyms
 and some of them are on the way to extinction.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the
government
Use synonyms
 should establish organisations to conduct philological research and keep track of the number of native speakers to
avoid
Verb problem
prevent
show examples
 their
decreasing
Replace the word
decrease
show examples
.
Linking Words
Also
Punctuation problem
Also,
show examples
 these
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of establishments, with the help of
people
Use synonyms
 with initiative, can bring back to life
languages
Use synonyms
 that died a long time ago.
For example
Linking Words
, no one had
been
Verb problem
apply
show examples
spoken
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Hebrew until the middle of 20 century, when
Israeli
Correct article usage
the Israeli
show examples
government
Use synonyms
 carried out reforms to force
people
Use synonyms
 to use Hebrew in their everyday life. Today, more than 10 million
people
Use synonyms
 speak
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Hebrew.
To sum up
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 should cherish their native
language
Use synonyms
 and do everything they can to keep it alive.
Also
Linking Words
, the
government
Use synonyms
 must
give
Verb problem
apply
show examples
allocate funds to protect
languages
Use synonyms
 and their native speakers to keep the increasing of their numbers
.
Verb problem
increasing.
show examples

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coherence and cohesion
Try to structure your paragraphs more clearly. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea to help with understanding.
task achievement
Make sure to elaborate on your ideas to provide more depth and clarity. More details will strengthen your argument.
language use
Use a wider range of vocabulary and correct any grammatical errors to improve your writing.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your opinion, which is a good start.
task achievement
You provided a relevant example of Hebrew, which adds strength to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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