IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Competition
Use synonyms
 is
undeniable
Correct article usage
an undeniable
show examples
 behaviour of
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
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,
Punctuation problem
;
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 it's pre-programmed in our nature. It's a part of our ability to survive
in
Change preposition
on
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daily
Correct article usage
a daily
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 basis. I personally think that the differences only on the matter of our perspectives, are we going to see it in
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
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 or
negative
Correct article usage
a negative
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way
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? and work from that. Since we can't avoid
competition
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 all the
time
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, let's see it in a positive
way
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 first and how we can take advantage of
competition
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.
Competition
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 itself could give a positive outcome like
self-assesment
Correct your spelling
self-assessment
 on ourselves in
matter
Fix the agreement mistake
matters
show examples
 of what we can improve
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
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 to others. We can
also
Linking Words
 learn from the
person
Use synonyms
 we have
competition
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 with
,
Punctuation problem
;
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 it's a win-win
situation
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.
Competition
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help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
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 us to be aware and not self-sufficient with our current condition, it's a reminder for us to be not too comfortable with our
surrounding
Fix the agreement mistake
surroundings
show examples
. So we have the awareness to always learning all the
time
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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in
Change preposition
over
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overtime
Check wording
time
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 we improve ourselves. Even
us
Correct pronoun usage
we
show examples
 as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 are physically and mentally built for
competition
Use synonyms
,
for
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
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 our
body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
show examples
 are meant to be moved, in order to keep up with challenges. Those challenges align with
everyday
Correct article usage
the everyday
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 competitions we will receive. But in my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
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 those competitions
not
Verb problem
do not
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necessary
Replace the word
necessarily
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 mean we eliminate the value of
cooperation
Use synonyms
.
Competition
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 and
cooperation
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 could work out side by side without
eliminate
Wrong verb form
eliminating
show examples
 the value of each other. The
way
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 to work it out for me is by strategically
put
Wrong verb form
putting
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competition
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 and
cooperation
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 in the
right
Use synonyms
corridor
Check wording
context
show examples
. The ability to put
competition
Use synonyms
 or
cooperation
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 in the
right
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time
Use synonyms
 and
situation
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need
Verb problem
requires
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 experience. We won't be able to differentiate which value we should use
in
Change preposition
at
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a
Correct article usage
the
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right
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
 and
situation
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 if we are afraid to try it
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
. Each
person
Use synonyms
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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different
Correct article usage
a different
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 approach and
situation
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 in life
so
Punctuation problem
, so
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 we won't be able to just duplicate it with
other
Fix the agreement mistake
another
show examples
Use synonyms
person
Check wording
person's
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 experience. In summary, I would say that there
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 no
right
Use synonyms
 recipe which one we should do more
,
Change preposition
of, coorperation
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coorperation
Correct your spelling
cooperation
 or
competition
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 it
tailored
Verb problem
is tailored
show examples
 for each
person
Use synonyms
spesifically
Correct your spelling
specifically
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it could change
overtime
Use the right word
over time
show examples
. The only
way
Use synonyms
 we could manage to find which one
suitable
Verb problem
is suitable
show examples
 for us in
Correct article usage
a spesific
show examples
spesific
Correct your spelling
specific
situation
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 from our own experiments.

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task achievement
Try to have a clear introduction that states your opinion clearly. This helps the reader understand your point of view from the start.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to organize your ideas clearly. Use paragraphs for each point to help the reader follow your argument better.
task achievement
Use specific examples to support your ideas. This will help show your points in a clearer way and make your essay stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid long sentences that can confuse the reader. Keep your sentences clear and to the point to improve understanding.
task achievement
You provide a balanced view by discussing both competition and cooperation, which is good for this topic.
task achievement
You show a personal opinion and share your thoughts, which makes your essay unique and engaging.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • productivity
  • excel
  • outperform
  • advancements
  • academic standards
  • work ethic
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • unhealthy rivalries
  • harmonious
  • supportive
  • collaborative learning
  • social skills
  • communication skills
  • sense of community
  • collective goals
What to do next:
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