IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

Some people believe that children should spend all of their free time with their parent. Other believe that this is unnecessary or even negative. Discuss the possible arguments on both sides, and say which side you personally support.

Thesedays
Correct your spelling
These days
,
Some
Fix capitalization
some
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 consider that young
people
Use synonyms
 have to spend all of their free time with their
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
,
Other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 think that
this
Linking Words
 is not
neceeccessary
Correct your spelling
necessary
 or even worse. Personally, I think children should
take
Verb problem
spend
show examples
 all
time
Correct pronoun usage
their time
show examples
 with their parents. On the one hand, some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
this
Linking Words
 issue is unnecessary or even negative. It is because the
people
Use synonyms
 become who are independent, outgoing
people
Use synonyms
. In fact, in the research, Jenny Kim
who
Punctuation problem
, who
show examples
 is Seoul National University’s professor says that ‘the children
do
Verb problem
are
show examples
 not
affect
Wrong verb form
affected
show examples
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 parents. If they spent all of their free time
their
Change preposition
with their
show examples
 parent, it will lead to them not doing themselves. Unfortunately,

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language use
Make sure to spell words correctly; for example, 'nececassary' should be 'necessary'. This helps with understanding.
task response
Add more reasons or examples to support your ideas. This makes your argument stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use clear paragraphs to organize your thoughts. Each paragraph can focus on one main point.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion that you state in the beginning, which is good.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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