IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Countries should try to produce all the food for the population and import as little food as possible. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is argued that
food
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 items should be produced by the countries for the population and limiting the amount of imports
.
Verb problem
should be limited.
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 I unequivocally agree with
this
Linking Words
 opinion because it increases employment opportunities and contributes to the gross domestic
product
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. The first reason for my agreement is that producing
food
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 inside the nations reduces unemployment.
This
Linking Words
 is because to make all
food
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 items, countries are required to hire more employees so that
production
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 processes run smoothly, giving a solution to the big problem of unemployment , which
otherwise
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 may be impossible. Producers ought to make
Correct article usage
an
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effort to make all
food
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 items except those that are impossible to make, and require export.
For example
Linking Words
, a restaurant is selling Chinese
meal
Fix the agreement mistake
meals
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, and five chefs are there
,
Punctuation problem
;
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however
Linking Words
, to serve and produce every kind of dish, the restaurant would require more staff members. A
further
Linking Words
 reason is that it enhances gross domestic
product
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 by increasing
overall
Linking Words
production
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.
This
Linking Words
 is because the
production
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 of all eatables constitutes gross domestic
product
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, producing all possible fruits and vegetables gives a big rise to GDP, which in turn increases national income. If the national income of any country rises,
then
Linking Words
 it would give a sharp rise to the value of money, improving the
overall
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 position of
a
Correct article usage
the
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 country.
For example
Linking Words
, the USA stood first for in-house
production
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, with zero imports and more exports, higher gross domestic
product
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.
Hence
Linking Words
, limiting imports can improve the situation. In conclusion, I firmly believe that making more
foodstuff
Fix the agreement mistake
foodstuffs
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in the home country
instead
Linking Words
 of buying from other countries solves the problem of unemployment, and accelerates gross domestic
merchandise
Check wording
product
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.

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task achievement
The introduction should clearly state the writer's position more directly and provide a brief outline of the main points.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph should start with a clear topic sentence that states the main idea to improve logical flow.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure a stronger connection between ideas, especially in the second paragraph, to make the argument more convincing.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear argument in favor of local food production.
task achievement
Examples are used effectively to illustrate main points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-sufficiency
  • trade dependency
  • food security
  • sustainable agriculture
  • local economies
  • carbon footprint
  • supply chain
  • food miles
  • agricultural sector
  • domestic production
  • import substitution
  • food sovereignty
  • global supply chains
  • trade imbalances
  • food standards
  • economic resilience
  • biodiversity
  • cultural heritage
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