IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people prefer to live in a house while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. What is your opinion?

It is asserted by a few individuals that living in the house is a better choice,
while
Linking Words
 others reckon that it is more advantageous to live in an apartment
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 I believe that both aspects are valid and
convincing
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convincing,
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 as all the houses are more spacious
yet
Punctuation problem
, yet
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 apartments have modernised electrical
equipments
Correct your spelling
equipment
. The primary benefit of a personal house is that it provides
adequate
Correct article usage
an adequate
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 amount of open space. To be more precise, having
spacious
Correct article usage
a spacious
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 area ensures
comfortness
Correct your spelling
comfort
to
Change preposition
for
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 the residents. Even hosting
mamy
Correct your spelling
many
 events
become
Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
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 easier if there is the availability of spaces
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likewise
Punctuation problem
, likewise
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backyard
Correct article usage
the backyard
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 and
lobby
Correct article usage
the lobby
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.
Also
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, houses occupy
larger
Correct article usage
a larger
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 area
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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avails
Verb problem
allows
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with
Change preposition
for
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 better ventilation and circulation of air through windows. There is neither congestion nor shortage of space to accommodate numerous items.
In contrast
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, it is very difficult to adjust everything in the limited zone of an apartment. Turning to apartments, these are well-equipped with better
electroni
Correct your spelling
electronic
 devices which are technologically
advance
Replace the word
advanced
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Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as cooling and heating systems, speedy escalators
Punctuation problem
, et
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et
Use the right word
etc
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 cetera.
This
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facilitate
Correct subject-verb agreement
facilitates
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 dwellers with
better
Correct article usage
a better
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 lifestyle, making their working performance efficient.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
, modernised
equipments
Correct your spelling
equipment
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
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fancy
Correct article usage
a fancy
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 outlook to the living place
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 attracts many people.
On the contrary
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, it is a daunting task to install
such
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 machines in conventional housing. In conclusion, as per my perspective, balance is crucial - both pursuits are important as a house provides more space than
apartment
Correct article usage
an apartment
show examples
,
whereas
Linking Words
 there is better provision of modern devices in the latter residence.

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task achievement
Improve your introduction by clearly stating your opinion in one sentence. Make sure it's clear which side you lean towards.
coherence and cohesion
Strengthen your conclusion by summarizing the key points and reaffirming your opinion more strongly.
task achievement
Use more clear examples to support your points about houses and apartments, such as specific benefits.
content
The essay presents valid points about both housing choices.
coherence and cohesion
Good structure with separate paragraphs for each idea.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • privacy
  • outdoor activities
  • gardening
  • customization options
  • renovate
  • structural changes
  • investments
  • appreciation/depreciation
  • maintenance costs
  • utility costs
  • security features
  • gated entries
  • surveillance systems
  • shared amenities
  • community centers
  • suburban
  • rural areas
  • commutes
  • urban centers
  • public transport
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