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Writing Samples
Band 6

The graphs below show the percentage of men and women aged 60-64 who were employed in four countries in 1970 and 2000. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevent

The graphs below show the percentage of men and women aged 60-64 who were employed in four countries in 1970 and 2000. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevent
Analyzing
Use the right word
Analysing
show examples
 the information here reveals a lot of points. The
provaided
Correct your spelling
provided
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
graphs show the percentage of
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 aged 60-64 who were employed in four countries in 1970 and 2000. It is surprising to notice that there is a sharp rise in
Japan
Use synonyms
 to illustrate of
men
Use synonyms
 aged and the sharp rise of
women
Use synonyms
 is
Japan
Use synonyms
 here , a reader can see that there is a similarity between USA and Australia of
men
Use synonyms
 aged another crucial point similaritay of
women
Use synonyms
 between USA and
Japan
Use synonyms
 it is clearly can see there is many humans in
Japan
Use synonyms
 are 60 -64 people , and the lowest percentage of
men
Use synonyms
 aged it is USA in 1970, and the lowest one in 2000 is Belgium And the lowest of
women
Use synonyms
 aged in 1970 is Belgium
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 in 2000
is
Correct pronoun usage
it is
show examples
 Belgium again, as the graph shows.
To sum up
Linking Words
, if we hold a comparison dealing with
show
Wrong verb form
showing
show examples
 the percentage of
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 aged 60-64 who were employed in four
countries
Punctuation problem
countries,
show examples
 we can conclude that there is
big
Correct article usage
a big
show examples
deffrence
Correct your spelling
difference
 between them.

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Linking words: Add more linking words.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 90%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words men, women, japan with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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