Many people do not enjoy competitive sports because they are afraid of losing. Therefore, sports competitions should be banned. Do you agree or disagree?

It is undeniable that
competitions
Use synonyms
might lead to
Correct article usage
a lose
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lose
Replace the word
loss
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for some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
competitors.
That is
Linking Words
why competition sports may not be enjoyable for some youngsters.
However
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, I completely disagree with the idea that competitive sports need
banning
Wrong verb form
to be banned
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. It is evident that
competitions
Use synonyms
can be educational for some young
people
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for some reasons.
Firstly
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, athletes losing in these contests become able to know their weaknesses, so they can acquire
necessary
Correct article usage
the necessary
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skills to improve their abilities in that specific area.
As a result
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, they would turn to
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
stronger athletes.
Secondly
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, these contests can make youngsters ready for
same
Correct word choice
similar
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situations in real life, where they might face
Correct article usage
the sane
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sane
Use the right word
same
show examples
difficulties.
Furthermore
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, I believe that many
people
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enjoy
competitions
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. The key reason is that so many athletes consider these games
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a good opportunity to challenge themselves.
In other words
Linking Words
, some
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
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players are satisfied with being a part of a big competition, even if they lose. Other than that, many audiences are amazed by simply watching these contests. Many families,
for example
Linking Words
, follow these games as their leisure activities. In conclusion, it seems to me that
although
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some young
people
Use synonyms
may
afraid
Verb problem
be afraid
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of
lose
Wrong verb form
losing
show examples
in
competitions
Use synonyms
, these games should not be banned. That
us
Use the right word
is
show examples
because they can be both educational and enjoyable for many
people
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction.
coherence cohesion
Use clear linking words to connect your ideas, such as 'firstly', 'secondly', 'in addition'.
task achievement
Expand your examples for better support, especially in the body paragraphs.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear disagreement with the idea of banning competitive sports.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your main points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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