IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

It has been observed that these days people who have health issues are taking medications and related treatments without consulting to their family doctors. I presume that drawbacks of doing these actions surpass the benefits to a major extent. My position is elaborated with reasons and relevant examples.

It has been observed that these days
Use synonyms
people
Punctuation problem
, people
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 who have health issues are taking
medications
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 and related
treatments
Use synonyms
 without consulting their family doctors. I presume that
drawbacks
Correct article usage
the drawbacks
show examples
 of doing these actions surpass the benefits to a major extent. My position is elaborated with reasons and relevant examples. Examining the negative side of the foremost one is that,
usually
Punctuation problem
usually,
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 family doctors have a record of their
patients
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and
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, and
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that is
Linking Words
 why it
always
Verb problem
is always
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 recommended to take advice from them before going through a treatment or taking any
medicine
Punctuation problem
medicine,
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 as
people
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 can get trapped by fake medicinal
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
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 or
organizations
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organisations
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
, for complicated
treatments
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 and
medications
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clinics
Punctuation problem
, clinics
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 take details of
a
Correct article usage
the
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 family
doctor
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 of
patients
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 and they
do
Verb problem
apply
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inform them to ensure
safety
Correct article usage
the safety
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 and health of
patients
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.
For example
Linking Words
, pharmacy needs to inform family physicians of
patients
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 about
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medications
Fix the agreement mistake
medication
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 alterations and vaccines. Not only family
doctor
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can
Verb problem
apply
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write a referral for specialists, but they help by providing prescriptions for renewals in case of emergency if they have been informed about ongoing treatment earlier.
On the contrary
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, I would not overlook the advantage of taking own decisions about
medications
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 and
treatments
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. As in many countries like the United States and
Canada
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Canada,
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 it is difficult to find a suitable
doctors
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doctor
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, for an appointment
doctor
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 gives 6
months
Correct your spelling
6-month
of
Change preposition
apply
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waiting period for
x-rays
Fix capitalization
X-rays
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. So, to avoid
long
Correct article usage
a long
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 waiting period
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people
Punctuation problem
, people
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 prefer to read different articles, books and decide on their healthcare concerns.
To conclude
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, there are
perks
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both perks
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 and disadvantages
both
Correct word order
apply
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of
Change preposition
to
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people
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 not taking advice from their
doctor
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 about
medications
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.
However
Linking Words
, because of health
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
show examples
 and side
effects
Add a comma
effects,
show examples
people
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 should go through an ideal process and keep posting about
on-going
Use the right word
ongoing
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treatments
Use synonyms
.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clearly express your main points in a logical order, guiding the reader through your argument more smoothly.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to support your main points. This will make your argument stronger and clearer.
coherence and cohesion
Try to summarize your main points in the conclusion more clearly. This helps the reader remember your key arguments.
task achievement
Your essay addresses an important issue about health and medication. This is relevant and meaningful.
task achievement
You included both sides of the argument, which shows good critical thinking.
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