IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some
people
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 believe that it is better to have other
skills
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besides
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 your main professional ones,
while
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 opponents argue that it can be bad.
This
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 essay will discuss both perspectives and give my opinion. On the one hand, some individuals improve their communication
skills
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 in order to expand their business and talk with their potential clients when discussing a contract. It
also
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 helps them to be more confident when speaking to the audience. To illustrate, some businessmen need to learn how to communicate with other
people
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 when they speak in a meeting with colleagues. They need to present their presentation in a good way so
people
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 can understand them. Others, including me, are of the opinion that it is important for
people
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 to focus on one specific area. When a person tries to become a professional, they need to learn all the required materials , and it does not just require all your time but
also
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 your dedication to become a master. All those studying cannot be done if you learn something new, because you will be distracted from the other and never complete the lesson.
For example
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, medical students must improve their
skills
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 in the human body so they can become doctors.
This
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 field is very important .
Therefore
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, they cannot be involved in any subjects other than medical ones. In conclusion, I totally agree that humans cannot engage with any other subjects other than their professional
skills
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 because it can distract their focus and concentration. A new skill is important , but it
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also can
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can also
show examples
make
Verb problem
distract
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 you
distracted
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apply
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and unable to concentrate. It is crucial to become a professional first before going on to other things.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction. This helps the reader know your stance early on.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words like 'firstly', 'secondly', and 'finally' to make your arguments clearer and easier to follow.
task achievement
Try to give more detailed examples to support your points. This makes your ideas stronger and clearer.
task achievement
You presented both sides of the argument well, which is important for this type of essay.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion clearly sums up your viewpoint, which is a good way to finish your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
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