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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph shows changes in the number of cars per household in Great Britain over a period of 36 years

The graph shows changes in the number of cars per household in Great Britain over a period of 36 years
The given bar graph illustrates the
amount
Check wording
number
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 of households with different numbers of
cars
Use synonyms
 in a European country over a period of 30 years starting from 1971.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the number of homes owning more than
two
Use synonyms
cars
Use synonyms
 witnessed an upward trend,
while
Linking Words
 the opposite trend was true for the proportion of those with no
car
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, the highest figure was seen in households owning
one
Use synonyms
car
Use synonyms
 throughout the period. In 1971, the highest percentage of homes, about 45%, did not own a
car
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. Around 35% of families had
one
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car
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 fewer than 10% owned more than
two
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
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. By 1981,
this
Linking Words
 trend began to shift. The ratio of residential units owning
one
Use synonyms
car
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 showed a significant increase to approximately 38%, overtaking those without a
car
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 dropped to 35%. Meanwhile, there was a considerable rise in the proportion of dwellings with more than
two
Use synonyms
cars
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 from 16% to 35%. In 1991, the
amount
Check wording
percentage
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 of homes owning
one
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car
Use synonyms
 remained the highest around 45%. The percentage of residents without a
car
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 continued to decline, falling to about 25%. At the same time, the share of those with more than
two
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cars
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 decreased rapidly to 15%. By 2001, the number of
one
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-
car
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 families and domestic units owning more than
two
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cars
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 experienced a quick growth to 50% and 35%, respectively.
By contrast
Linking Words
, the data for households with no
car
Use synonyms
 dropped
further
Linking Words
 to roughly 20%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words cars, two, car, one with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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