IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that car-free days are effective ways to reduce air pollution. However, others argue that there are other ways that are more effective. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In modern society, some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
car-free
Use synonyms
days
Use synonyms
 are
effective
Correct article usage
an effective
show examples
Use synonyms
ways
Fix the agreement mistake
way
show examples
 to reduce
air
Use synonyms
pollution
Punctuation problem
pollution,
show examples
while
Linking Words
 others contend that there are other
ways
Use synonyms
 that are more effective. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I am going to give out my opinion and
analyze
Use the right word
analyse
show examples
 the categories relating to
these
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
both views. On the one hand, considering
car-free
Use synonyms
days
Use synonyms
 to become popular can be one of the most significant
ways
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 to decrease the polluted living atmosphere.
Car-free
Use synonyms
days
Use synonyms
 encourage
people
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 to use public transport
instead
Linking Words
 of private transport to reduce greenhouse
Check wording
gas emission
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emission
Fix the agreement mistake
emissions
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 and
also
Linking Words
 keep fresh
air
Use synonyms
 in big cities.
Besides
Linking Words
,
car-free
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days
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 help
people
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 to save money, time and lower the risk of having car accidents
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 kill millions of
people
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 each year.
For example
Linking Words
,
Viet Nam
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Vietnam
show examples
 plans
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2030 to reduce the number of car accidents in that country.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, at the same time, there can be more effective
ways
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 to solve the difficulty
including
Punctuation problem
, including
show examples
 sentencing regulations by the government, raising awareness of
people
Use synonyms
 by social media campaigns, and encouraging
people
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 to plant more
trees
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 to absorb harmful
gasses
Use the right word
gases
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, strict regulations on emissions in industrial plants can significantly improve
air
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 quality.
Besides
Linking Words
, the government can set up a
plant
Check wording
tree planting
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trees
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 campaign and encourage citizens to plant more
trees
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.
As a result
Linking Words
, planted
trees
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 will absorb polluted
emission
Fix the agreement mistake
emissions
show examples
 and make the atmosphere
become
Verb problem
apply
show examples
fresh
Replace the word
fresher
show examples
. In conclusion, above is my opinion about the statement that some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
car-free
Use synonyms
days
Use synonyms
 are effective
ways
Use synonyms
 to reduce
air
Use synonyms
pollution
Punctuation problem
pollution,
show examples
while
Linking Words
 others contend that there are other
ways
Use synonyms
 that are more effective.

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coherence
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea. Sometimes it's hard to see what the main point is.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to back up your points. This can make your argument stronger.
task achievement
You clearly present both sides of the argument, which is good for task achievement.
coherence
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion, which is important for coherence and cohesion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainability
  • emissions standards
  • renewable energy
  • environmentally friendly
  • public transportation
  • pedestrian zones
  • commuter behavior
  • awareness
  • incentives
  • air pollution
What to do next:
Look at other essays: